I Was There For You When No One Was.
You were so good at pretending and lying.
You were so good at playing games.
You convinced me that you cared.
That you wanted me.
How stupid I was.
I was naive and you were such a good liar.
I was there for you when no one was.
You never put any effort to actually be with me.
All I got was a broken heart,
broken promises and empty words.
Now I know that you never deserved me.
A man like you doesn’t deserve someone like me.
Unfortunately I realised it too late.
I was truly in love but you never saw all the sacrifices I made for you.
I was there when no one was,
I defended you,
I cared about you,
I loved you more than myself.
But you took it all for granted like you are used to.
I kept waiting for so long.
I waited for you to come back around.
I waited for your love.
But you gave me nothing to hold on to.
You were too busy loving yourself,
You treat people like objects for pleasure and playing games with disregards to their feelings.
I used to hope that you will wake up and realise that this is not a life then I realised that for someone in his 50’s this is a life you consciously chose to live.
This when I decided that I don’t want you anymore.
This is when I realised that I have loved an illusion.
I don’t need your lies, your games and the sleepless nights.
I only wanted your love but you can’t love anyone, not even yourself.
I had to put myself first.
I held onto you for as long as I could.
Even though I never felt your love.
I was just lying to myself but I knew that it could never be love.
Now after all I’m forgetting you and already I feel the difference.
There is no happy ending for us because you never loved me and you never will.
You don’t know how to love.
There is no happy ending when one person is loving, giving and breaking apart while the other is just playing games.
Moving on was hard but letting you break my heart again and again was harder.
Now I see how stupid I was,
I don’t even know how I believed that I’m not strong enough to walk away and move on.
After all this time and after all the things you did to me, I don’t hate you even though I have every right to but I don’t.
But to be honest even now that I have moved on I have days when I miss you.
Miss to tell you something new or to share my happiness with you.
But in the very next moment I remember how you were treating me and it all stops.
You broke my heart but I have to thank you because I became stronger.
Because of you I have found myself.
Maybe one part of my heart still loves you but that doesn’t mean that I want you back.
It just means that my love was real and that I loved you truly with my whole heart.
Now I know how to deal with my scars that covers my heart and I’m happier than ever.
You deserve to stay in the past and I won’t waste my time on you because you proved that you never deserved me.
I forgive you even though you don’t deserve to be forgiven.
One day you will realise what you had and what you lost because of your selfishness.
You will realise that you lost someone who loved you more than anyone ever will.