A Narcissist Dilemma And His Inability To Love.
Love in essence to a Narcissist is seen as an act, it is fake and forged, it is simply a cycle that he must go through to win over the affection of another Supply.
Love means Nothing to him.
Marriage to him is not a union but rather a piece of paper.
Narcissists have to feel extremely special.
Perhaps as children they didn’t receive this, so in order to make up for it they will have multiple relationships to get this need met.
The Narcissist have learnt to suppress and repress these feelings in order to simply keep moving along.
The Narcissist is torn between his need to obtain Narcissistic Supply from human beings and his fervent wish to be left alone.
This wish is peppered with contempt and feelings of superiority.
• The Narcissist hates women virulently and vehemently.
A Misogynist, he identifies being loved with being possessed, encroached upon, shackled, transformed, reduced, exploited, weakened, engulfed, digested and excreted.
To him love is a dangerous pursuit, fickle and labile.
He believes in fear and hate as immutable and reliable motivations but not in love.
He is rarely possessive and jealous with his partner, he doesn’t care what she does, when and with whom as long as his needs and expectations are impeccably met.
He avoids intimacy also because it demands reciprocity and thus a waste of his scarce and precious resources on the tedious chore of maintaining a relationship when all he wants is a business like contractual arrangement.
When a woman tries to pick up A Narcissist, flirt with him or court him, he is likely to react by subjecting her to humiliating and cool disdain or by dumping her.
The Abusive message is,
you have no power over me because I am unique, omnipotent and not your typical run of the mill sap, you are nothing to me but a pitiful parasite or an object to be violated.
Your very approach and attempt to seduce me is proof of your imbecility, blindness or maliciousness for how could you not have noticed that I am different and superior?
• Being loved means being known intimately.
The Narcissist likes to think that he is so unique and deep that he can never be fathomed.
The Narcissist believes that he is above mere human understanding and empathy ,, that he is one of a kind.
To say to him I love you means to negate this feeling, to try to drag him to the lowest common denominator and to threaten his sense of uniqueness.
After all everyone is capable of loving and everyone even the basest human beings fall in love.
To the Narcissist loving is an Animalistic and Pathological Behaviour.
• The Narcissist knows that he is a con artist, a fraud, an elaborate hoax, a script, hollow and really non existent.
The person who claims to love him is either lying or a self deceiving, clinging and immature codependent.
The Narcissist can’t tolerate the thought that he has chosen a liar or an idiot for a mate.
Indirectly, her declaration of love is a devastating critique of The Narcissist’s own powers of judgment.
He is truly dead getting emotionally connected and attached.
He hates being tied down, feeling stuck and having to go through the routine of pleasing anyone other than himself.
To A Narcissist he equates love with being weak and mundane, he doesn’t wish to be an ordinary human beings.
To him he feels everyone else is wrong and he is right, the world is against him and he is superior almost God Like.
So where does this anger he exhibits stem from if not from lacking in love?
He is angry with himself, he is not as powerful, successful or inspiring and because the façade isn’t as good as his imagination internally.
What he thinks of himself isn’t as exciting as how others perceive him.
He simply doesn’t understand why others do not worship him.
He feels discriminated against as if people don’t see his true value he possesses and is constantly being ignored.
Many of them are constantly evolving , changing, adapting and reinventing because they fear being alone, fear being dull and fear redundancy.
The excitement for The Narcissist is in creating drama, living vicariously through others, mirroring and reflecting from those around him.
He is a lonely soul with an even lonelier existence.