A Thank You Letter To The Man Who Broke My Heart ,, To You SY.
I Just wanted to drop you a line to tell you that I’m still alive.
When you broke my heart I thought I would dig a hole in the ground, crawl in, listen to every cure song ever made, curl up and then maybe die.
You were the most catastrophic thing to ever hit my life and you pounded me like a meteor.
After what you did to me I thought for sure that I would turn to dust but then something amazing happened.
I didn’t and as a plot twist I want to thank you.
That’s right I have you to thank.
Before you life was easy and perhaps even boring.
I was safe and sheltered like a bird in a cage singing the same tune I’d sung to myself for years.
Songs of self-doubt that told me I would never be good enough and songs that told me to give up.
I had no idea how much I could endure and persevere or that I could lift my head on my own and love myself despite my many flaws.
Because of you I realised I’m the only me I have.
And guess what, oh horror of horrors, I like me.
When something like you happens it’s for sure isolating.
For a few bleak seconds I felt like the earth had fallen out from under me and I was floating in space but in your aftermath I realised that I have had everything I needed all along.
And in fact maybe I didn’t appreciate it as much as I should.
Without you I would never have seen how much my family and friends love me and what a powerful word unconditional is.
I would never have seen the bonds that tie me to the people I care about more than anything in the world and how much they support and accept me no matter what.
Sure, I could rend my garments and gnash my teeth cursing your name to the high heavens but instead that terrible, insidious, cruel and hateful thing you did. I will thank you for attempting to destroy me.
Because without you I would have never known that I‘m capable of coming back from the worst darkness I could ever imagine.
And I didn’t just survive but I came back stronger and more determined.
You helped me realise the greatest thing I will ever know.
I’m no bird in a cage.
I’m A Phoenix.