All I Wanted To Do Was Love You And You Just Broke Me!
There is no denying I might have fallen too hard and too fast for you.
But you led me to believe you were taking the plunge with me.
My guard was down and I let you in as you looked deep into my eyes.
I swear I saw something good within you.
I thought you were different.
Because every conversation left me wanting more and every word you said made me blush as if someone was saying it for the first time.
But you broke me, somewhere long the way it just ended.
You left me with no reason as to why?
When all I wanted was to make it right.
You weren’t there to listen as I cried myself to sleep.
You weren’t there as I replayed everything in my mind wondering exactly what happened.
We had a passion unlike anything I knew or so I thought.
There was a fire burning within me that would later burn me and leave me scarred.
When I first looked at you I felt safe more so than I ever felt with anyone else.
But then there I was questioning everything I said and did.
I cautiously tiptoed over thinking.
I wondered what was wrong with me?
I wondered if I could make this right.
And in a desperate attempt to do so you made me look like a fool.
Every text went unanswered as I looked at my phone like an idiot.
It wasn’t just you that I stopped trusting.
It was everyone.
Because if you could deceive me so easily when I didn’t think so anyone could.
I thought anyone would.
So my walls built up higher as I watched everyone’s moves more closely.
I didn’t want to be fooled again.
But in my state of isolation and a heart so guarded I felt a sense of loneliness that I couldn’t shake.
I wanted to trust others but I didn’t want to let someone in again just to be burnt.
I used to be able to walk in anywhere and talk to anyone.
These days I do a double take in the mirror.
I’m not admiring my reflection but rather fixating upon my flaws.
Thinking maybe that was the reason everything fell apart.
Maybe it was a number of things that I will never know.
I know people shouldn’t be able to affect your confidence but you did.
You made me wonder about myself and question my worth.
You turned me into someone I couldn’t recognise.
It wasn’t like me to cry so hard or be so hung up on someone.
It wasn’t like me to change who I was to suit the opinion of a Man .
But you weren’t just any Man.
You were someone I thought could be something.
You were someone I looked at with confidence.
I changed into someone I hated because I trusted you.
And I didn’t recognise my reflection anymore.
There I was looking at myself and wondering how I even became this person.
I was once someone who cared too much I didn’t care at all.
My heart grew dark and I stopped feeling anything.
Because maybe if I went through the motions like you hadn’t broken me, just maybe it would stop hurting.
But it didn’t.
Repressing pain only makes it hurt more.
I felt secure with you.
I felt like everything in the world was ok when I was around you.
I thought most of all this might be the last time I get hurt.
I thought I finally got it right.
Now I’m afraid of everything.
I don’t even leave my house without looking over my shoulder.
I don’t even fantasise about things going right anymore.
I’m numb from it all.
And you did that to me when all I wanted to do was love you.