And Then Comes The Narcissist!
I let go of anger and replaced it with pity.
It still wasn’t enough as I wanted to help him see himself for what he is and what he is doing to destroy his relationships and his happiness.
So I read and read and didn’t react to my emotions.
As I became more educated it became more apparent that he is nothing more than a shell of a human mushy on the inside with the persona of a tough shell on the outside.
Then I saw his true evil colours.
His cruelty helped me heal from wanting future contact with him.
He is a serial cheater and a liar.
He can’t see his wrong doings as he perceives himself to be always right.
I wasn’t aware that God made humans the way he relates.
If I didn’t live it I wouldn’t have believed that I could be duped the way I was.
Human nature is generally to look for the best in people not the worst.
And Then Comes The Narcissist.
I’m thinking all of us needed to work through the anger and disbelief that someone who professed his undying love and care was playing out a game.
We have to process and make sense of the lies and deceit but first we have to accept just that very thought that it really wasn’t real.
He never loved me and he never cared about me.
I was deceived.
I was blindly in love with him.
I was willing to overlook his flaws as all humans have it.
But the rollercoaster must stop for repairs and sometimes the rollercoaster just needs to be torn down for good.
No contact is when you win.
You regain your self esteem.
You regain your thoughts.
You regain your strength.
You realise the importance of family and friends that you cherish and that he never had and never will.
You are the lucky one.
He tried to change you.
He tried to break you down daily.
So your choice now is either to hold onto the anger that he deserted you and never cared enough to satisfy you or anyone he will ever meet in the future or to let it go.
He will meet others.
He will toy with others as he did with you.
Do you want him to win by remaining angry at him or realise that he was never as good as you thought he was for you?
Were you the best version of yourself when you were with him?
It may be challenging to meet someone you enjoy for a while.
Be the person you want to meet and so you will.
When I think about him, I usually ask myself,
If he was here today in my life how would this obstacle be handled with him Today?
I can honestly say in every case thanks God he’s not here to demean me.
I’m starting a new chapter in a brand new book.
So my best advice is to let go of the anger and enjoy every day of your new life the best you can.
Life is way too short to waste it on thoughts and hopes of him returning.
Do you want him the way he was as The Monster will only continue to grow more evil.
He might return.
He might hoover.
It’s up to you what you will do with it and your future.
Try to turn your anger around.
Try to see him slightly different in that he is troubled.
To treat people in certain ways is a sad sad state of affairs.
He doesn’t have the upper hand.
He isn’t super powerful being going round getting away with his cruelty.
It might feel like that but he’s not.
More people than you know will have seen through him and bypassed him.
Also he has lost people he liked or have been fond of.
He might go about in cruel and tyrannical ways but it doesn’t mean he is getting away with it.
He loses a lot and time isn’t on his side.
Everywhere he turns as the years go by there will be another ghost waiting to trip him up.
You won’t have that.
Try to channel your anger and use the time to do something to heal your heart and soul.