Avoid Or Adapt!!
In response to any kind of Traumatic Experience people tend to respond in one of two ways,
Avoidance means that in the face of hardships or abuse we will choose not to face the conflict at hand.
Avoidance is like refusing to disinfect an open wound.
We can ignore the pain but it will fester and lead to a worse condition(s).
Adaptation means that in the face of hardship or abuse we will choose to address the conflict, understand it and our relationship to it and over time disengage with it.
The pain will increase initially when we address it but with time the wounds will heal properly.
Every person has different tolerances and there are some traumas that should never be dealt with alone.
Let’s say you are a parent and you have just learnt that your child died in an accident.
It’s not fair and you may not be prepared but you have just been dropped into the labyrinth as I call it, a lonely, confusing and painful array of emotions with no obvious way to navigate it.
If you avoid the labyrinth you will never get out.
If you engage with it you will have days where you are making progress and days where you feel you have taken ten steps back.
Both are part of the greater process of gaining our freedom.
Adaptation is a difficult process but it leads to strength.
If you find yourself in the labyrinth accept that you will sabotage yourself, that’s part of the process.
You will push others away, that’s part of the process and you will feel weak for a long time but guess what?
You have likely never been challenged in this way so try to go easy on yourself!