Beware Of The Hidden Narcissist.
Given the ease and frequency that the term Narcissist is thrown around.
One might logically assume that most people have a good idea of what A Narcissistic Personality is.
However, it isn’t the case.
Many use the term quite casually to describe anyone or anything that is the slightest bit self centred but Narcissistic Personality Disorder is another kettle of fish entirely.
For of all it is A Real Disorder.
While none of us are immune from the occasional bout of Narcissist Behaviour, it is different in that it is a long standing pattern of grandiosity either in fantasy or actual behaviour, an overwhelming need for admiration and usually a complete lack of empathy towards others.
In other words, for someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is no question in his mind that he is the most important person in the world.
I thought I knew more than most people about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and always assumed that sufferers fit in the stereotype that most people have when they hear the word Narcissist, the classic overachieving Hollywood Actor type or big name CEO who is always self promoting and whose love for himself is too obvious.
Despite the fact that there are some who fits in this description, many take a more stealth approach and their true personalities may not be evident at first, second or even third glance.
This type of Narcissist is The Sensitive Narcissist meaning that upon first glance, he may come across as charming sensitive type who seemingly suffered a lot at the hands of people who misunderstood him, failed to appreciate him or harshly judged him for going against the tide.
A surprising number of the ones I have met are members of the mind body community.
Given that a lot of self help, New Age therapies emphasise on self improvement of some sort this may feed The Narcissist’s Preoccupation with unlimited fantasies of success, power and ideal love.
How do we avoid these people or look out for them?
It is important to pay close attention to their actions rather than just their words.
In particular, notice how they treat others including their friends and children.
Even if they are nice to them, do they seem to value them for who they are or for what they can do for them?
If their past woes are always the result of other people’s actions and never their own then that should be a clear red flag.
In any case if we find ourselves with a suspected or confirmed Narcissist the most important thing is to keep in mind that we can’t fix them and this is a situation that involves the help of a professional, it really isn’t us it is all them.