Can You Spot A Narcissistic Victim From A Crowd?
The answer is No because it can happen to anyone regardless of any age, race, gender, creed, or economic background.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder occurs when a man or woman suffers from deviant or abnormal personality behaviours that are so bad they create a trail of destruction or carnage upon those closest to them.
Victims of Narcissism may display a cluster of symptoms such as:
• Avoidance of Personal Interaction.
• Sleeping or Eating Difficulties.
• Memory Loss or Impairment.
• Constant Fatigue.
• Lost Sense of Self.
• Self Harming.
• Loss of Interest/Detachment.
Narcissist are individuals with an exaggerated sense of self having a grandiose ego of superiority over others, and requiring constant need of attention, affection, admiration, and praise.
They seek out to find and target those who are most empathetic, nurturing, and sympathetic to their portrayal of having a troubled past, riddled with bad decisions, and bad luck.
However, as victims later learn this is all too far from the truth as the Narcissist have hidden lifestyles, secretive behaviours, mental disorders, that wreck havoc upon their primary sources of supply in which a trail of destruction is left behind.
Victims are left sadly to pick up the broken pieces of their shattered lives, lives that were turned upside down without warning, simply because they believed in someone who was incapable of providing love, affection, reciprocation, understanding, and commitment.
Unfortunately, victims are unaware of the dangers that exist in becoming involved with a Narcissist until it is too late and often after years of being subjected to trauma, abuse, and depression which may result in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Cognitive Dissonance and Stockholm Syndrome which is much like prisoners of war, victims are left feeling they have to defend their Abuser and love their Abuser, despite years of captivity, isolation, deprivation and Abuse.
Narcissist are not easily detected and often appear shy, coy, very polite, professional and courteous.
They gain the victim’s trust by mirroring and projecting the traits of those they wish to emulate.
Often times, victims have no idea they are even being manipulated, deceived and brainwashed by these toxic person such as the Narcissist until they are significantly involved within the relationship.
Tactics such as love bombing, gaslighting which is. technique of brain washing used to instill confusion causing victims to question their own memory and triangulation which means creating an aura of desirability to draw victims closer are used to win the hearts of these unsuspecting supplies and targets.
Narcissists are very deceiving, they are Masters at Utilising Mind Games, they will lie about the most basic mundane things simply to gain the most attention, benefit, and fit their own selfish needs.
They do not care who they hurt or what ill lasting effects their targets will then be subjected too.
Victims are often known to feel a loss of self after years of neglect, abuse, denial, self questioning behaviours and self examination of their own judgement.
Narcissists have a plan from the very beginning of the honeymoon phase to the love bombing phase and ultimately the devalue and discard which is simply to take away and destroy the victim in anyway possible.
They are not limited to keeping their victims walking on eggshells and will resort to abuse of all forms to accomplish this task.
They have no remorse or empathy for those that are left behind.
Victims will never get the apology that they deserve.
Victims are often exposed to abuse of every form including but not limited to:
They are unable to figure out that they are being manipulated until it is too late often at the detriment to their own personal lives and those closest to them.
When victims do question the actions and behaviours of the Narcissists they are subjected to fits of rage, anger, bouts of depression, guilt, blame, threats of harm, intimidation, fear, anguish, pain, and often abuse.
Narcissists have an uncanny ability in altering their behaviour much like a chameleon to adapt to fit their environment and situations.
Therefore, it is often difficult to diagnose and worse to understand and treat Narcissism which often goes undiagnosed or misdiagnosed.
Questions may emerge as to why would anyone stay in such an abusive and hostile environment?
This question is not as black and white as it may appear as they may have been told if they leave the Abuser will harm them or further isolate them from family and friends preventing their escape.
The years of abuse may have them feeling depressed, alone and emotionally drained.
Victims maybe unwilling to change their situation but in fact they maybe physically exhausted and unable to help themselves or have medical impairments that prohibit their escape to safety.
Sadly, victims are deceived into believing the relationship they had would be fulfilling, rewarding, loving, nurturing, and kind.
What they have received in return was a toxic individual who may have had childhood trauma, abuse, or mental disordered behaviours that alter his current state of being.
Victims are blamed and made to feel crazy, second guessing their own actions as a direct result of the false accusations labeled against them by the Narcissist concerning something they did or didn’t do.
Narcissist are very good at twisting the truth, exaggerating the facts and creating drama for their own personal gain.
Often times Narcissists will surround themselves with enablers, harem, or loyal followers who often don’t wish to admit they are victims too or may think they are supporting a fake persona who is ultimately the Narcissist.
The entire persona of a Narcissist is a façade meant to benefit the ONE and only Narcissist!
Narcissists feel as though they are above the law, above others, and that the world is out to get them and therefore they go out of their way to showcase and spotlight themselves by selling themselves with their illustrious careers, expensive materialistic possessions and wealth.
Abuse is with the objective to maintain power and control while isolating their victims to become dependent upon them.
So what can someone do to help those who might find themselves in such precarious situations?
First and foremost always believe the victims.
Never blame them or discount their stories.
Let them know they are not alone.
Allow them the opportunity to speak, and quietly listen by being their supportive guidance.
When victims tell their story it is often for reasons such as validation, approval, acceptance, acknowledgement, understanding, love, and support.
Never make generalisations about the relationship or inferences concerning the break up.
This is not a typical breakup.
It is not simply a bruised ego or a broken heart.
The relationship was based upon a foundation of lies and deceit that was enhanced with an evil plan of mind games and trickery from a truly sick individual with a mental personality disorder.
The recovery after being devalued and discarded doesn’t involve simply getting over a few “hardships” that everyone has had to endure in life.
Never, ever, ever, tell the victim of any abuse that they deserved the abuse, or that they are seeking sympathy in telling their own personal struggles associated with the relationship, or worse never tell them they are milking the victimisation label.
Narcissistic relationships involves fear, intimidation, degradation, humiliation, chastisement, bereavement, lying, cheating, adultery, deceit, abuse, neglect, depression, isolation and abandonment.
This type of brainwashing and mental torture leaves victims feeling as lost souls and having low self esteem, low confidence with a low self worth.
Trust, confidence and belief levels in oneself are left questionable.
If you are a victim
Walk away from anything that no longer serves you.
Make yourself a priority and believe in yourself.
You are worthy and you can overcome Narcissism.
Stay strong and never give up.
Once safe, begin to rebuild and reclaim your life after Narcissism.
Maintain no contact, have strong boundaries and stick to them understanding that you don’t have to please everyone.
Become knowledgeable about Narcissism and what you have experienced and know that you are not alone.
Allow yourself the freedom to tell the truth and to tell your story.
In telling your story you are not only helping yourself to heal but you may give someone else the courage and hope they need in telling their own.
Uncover your true authentic self by loving yourself and doing things that brings you gratitude, joy, and positivity.
You have the power and control to rebuild your life and rewrite a new chapter and it begins with you.
Each passing day brings new hope, new possibility and new chances to go after the dreams you have established for yourself.
Count every blessing.
Release any and all emotions that were wrongly placed upon you and work towards a happy, healthier and more fulfilling lifestyle.
Deal with emotions as they arise to promote inner healing, wellness and recovery.
Challenge yourself by creating goals that are outside a level that might seem unattainable and accomplish them to aid in improving your self confidence.
Know that there are others who don’t or won’t understand your situation especially within the legal system and know that often times re-victimisation may occur.
Surround yourself with those who will be supportive in whatever you choose to do.
If you find those around you don’t understand your situation or past experience or aren’t as happy for you, then kindly dismiss their part in your life and find those who understand, acknowledge and uplift you during your journey.
Understand that you were targeted and that the traits that brought the Narcissist into your life are the very traits that makes you unique and important to the world.
It amazes me to this day how little skilled professional(s) know about the true damage a Narcissist can have upon their victims.
It is not merely about forgiveness or as simple as walking away.
Victim blaming and re-victimisation are not an answer as victims are never to blame.
The journey involves moving forward from being a victim to a survivor to a thriver but in their own way, at their own pace, in a way in which they feel comfortable and with or without professional assistance.
“I hope everyone can find inner peace, happiness, and well being in their lives after Narcissism whether on my page or in unison with other pages that deal with this topic.
In telling my story I hope others find the strength and courage to tell their own and allow others to do the same.
It is in knowing that there is power in numbers and that courts, legal systems and those meant to protect and serve hear our voices and recognise our situations with hopes that Domestic Violence laws are changed for all involved and all genders”.
We are all warriors!!