Do Narcissists Ever Let Go?!

A Narcissist can let go for a moment.
This moment can last a few months or a few years.

It may seem easy for him to move on because well, in the moment it is very easy.

He has devalued you so much in his mind that he is disgusted by you.

You are damaged to him and he can’t believe that he ever saw anything good in you this is one of the telltale signs of a disordered individual, he can love you on Monday and see no good in you on Tuesday,this is not normal.

Nothing you say or do can change what he thinks when you are being devalued and temporarily discarded.

This is why so many victims are crushed at this phase.

They don’t know why they are being treated so coldly, because normal people can see the bad but also acknowledge the good in a person they recently cared for.

Normal people don’t love you deeply over breakfast and toss you out of their heart by supper.

Victims frantically try to get back to the moments when the Narcissist idealised them.

But only a Narcissist can flip these switches.

I have seen Narcissists bringing  people to their knees with their Sadistic Cruelty and Icy Stares.

The man who once cared for you is no longer there and it can be unsettling to say the least.

The Narcissist will smear you and convince himself that you are the worst thing that has ever happened to him and he has to do everything he can to get you away from him so he can be around those worthy of his attention.

What he is capable of saying and doing to push you away will shock you.

But I have also seen these Narcissists slowly begin to Re Idealise the same supply when enough time has gone by and other sources of supply have dried up.

There will be small comments about how the victim used to like this show that is airing at the moment.

Or the victim always had a nice body just like the woman on a social media page.

Or the victim always wore nice clothes like that woman in the office.

If you question the Narcissist and ask him if he is reconsidering getting back with the victim he will brush it off and roll his eyes.

But soon after you may see the Victim and the Narcissist following each other on social media again.

Or the Narcissist will tell you the two are talking again, but just as friends.

Finally you will see the two around town as if they were never separated.

You may think, Well, we all say things when we are hurt but then we cool down and reevaluate and get back together.

That is not what is happening here.
A Narcissist never cools down.

He is still very heated but he is also looking for a supply.

He will go through a Rolodex of old supply and try to bring in a new supply unless he is a Covert, then he will stick to his dependable old supply for as long as he can.

Your name will be in that pile and although he may try to skip over it a few times, but eventually he will contact you.

This is when you will see the person you first met.

He may even be better the second time because he caused so much damage in the past and he has to work harder.

He will be sheepish and apologetic and tell you everything you wanted to hear.

In the end he will only do enough to get what he needs and then discard you again.

This can go on for years off and on.

A Narcissist believes he has the right to come and go as he pleases and he fully expects you to accept him with open arms and no questions.

I knew  a Narcissist who said no matter how much time has passed he knows a certain victim will always return or take him back.

He was very smug about it.

As an Overt Narcissist he was very smug about everything.

It is not a coincidence when he chooses to return to you.

Depending on the way and the number of times he has discarded you, he knows who will eagerly take him back and who may call the police.

He will only let go if you have nothing to offer him.

But that is impossible because a Narcissist can always find a use for anyone.

Even if it is a halfhearted compliment, he will circle back around for the ego boost when he is down and out and leave just as quickly when he feels whole again and has enough confidence to look for a new supply.

He will let go when he can’t find you and when you have closed off all entryways.

Also from my experience with whom I believe is the best Narcissist out there, him cutting off contact with you is for one of two reasons.

One, My Narcissist cut me out of his life after a cruel and abusive behaviour.

Of course I was distraught, I went running back to him, because I was so naive and I didn’t understand Narcissism.

He never responded to my texts or calls and went on with his life like we never met.

I will be honest, I texted him every day so hurt and confused but still received no response.

Looking back at it now I can tell you for sure that he had another girl lined up, plotting ways to hopefully wheel her in.

In fact, the lingering crazy ones Narcissists like to keep around as instant gratification that someone is still falling over them, and as bate to use to pull others in.

You have to understand that NOW he doesn’t care.

He will drop you after he has turned you into that Pathetic Woman.

Two, To get a reaction from you in order for him to gain control.

He wants you to come crawling back to him.

I was always convinced that I did something wrong.

He used this as a tactic to see if I still care.

Also no matter WHO the Narcissist is, he likes to see you tormented.

Narcissists are tortured souls.

Now I can tell you one damn thing from the bottom of my heart if he stopped contacting you, RUN AWAY!

I finally got my Narcissist back after he said that “I was stalking him” and must earn his trust back.

I was extremely naive and he was much older.

But when he came back, the cycle started again and even worse.

So much more abuse, so many more tears and worse things said.

Nights that I thought would never end.
Betrayal and heartbreak like I have never felt.

If only I had known then what I know now.

I still regret the day I wanted him back.

You don’t go anywhere until you decide where you would rather be, so fight the good fight, not for him but for you.

Run as fast as you can and never look back, Narcissists are toxic to your own well being and self esteem.

Let them move on to someone else and they will do that without looking back your way.

But be warned because they will try and keep a pulse on your comings and goings and will try to intervene in your life by any means possible, because even though they cut you off, you not falling to your knees and begging for their forgiveness, will make them more determined to destroy you than ever.

One Comment

  • This is a very interesting post.I think my ex only let go because he was afraid I would go to the police. Also because I was the one who decided to go no contact. However I had been hoovered several times prior to that and it lasted for a year after we broke up until I could no longer handle the constant betrayals.

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