Do Narcissists Realise They Have The Same Cycles In Every Relationship, Is It Something They Plan? Do They Even Recognise Anything Repetitive?!
Narcissists without a doubt don’t recognise the relationship cycles and patterns, all which confirm their fears of being unworthy and flawed.
It’s not something they plan, it’s how they navigate relationships to avoid intimacy, which is their greatest fear.
In the love-bombing phase of the relationship with a Narcissist they hope, and to some end convince themselves, you are the absolutely perfect, flawless partner they have always been searching for.
But as time goes by the Narcissist starts to see cracks.
Your flaws start to emerge.
Narcissists often holds others to an incredibly high standard, so high not even they can live up to it.
So what they see as perceived flaws, are things you and I can accept as being human.
For the Narcissist seeing these flaws is the beginning of the end.
At this point the Narcissist knows the relationship is doomed and it makes them anxious and irritable.
I believe this is why they start pursuing someone else.
Seeing the pattern is one thing but accepting responsibility, which is the first step to fixing any problem, is something a Narcissist will never do.
So, there’s little hope for change.
When you can step back and see the Narcissists behaviours that keep them trapped, it’s all pretty sad.
You won’t know that they feel this way about themselves until;
– You HAVE gone through the relationship and you are now separated from this person and able to think clearly, gain some of your old feelings back, and learn about Abuse.
– Or you HAVE gone through this type of relationship and can recognise the signs and abusive behaviours of personality disordered people.
– You can pick up on or catch their motives, bad intentions, or manipulative behaviour more easily when it is aimed at you.
At this point you may also be able to recognise certain family or friends who have abusive partners.
Every personality disordered person’s beliefs will be slightly different, about themselves as well as about others, but similar in something negative
What’s weird to me is that they are so clever at hiding that they have such low negative feelings and beliefs about themselves.
They believe others are pathetic, stupid, dumb, idiotic, lazy, privileged and lucky.
And what is so pathetic to me is that they have to project their negative feelings and beliefs about THEMSELVES onto other people and even more shocking is that the majority of these projections are placed on the person who probably loves them the most and gives them the most.
The person they need the most.
The person who is loyal and committed to them.
It is clear to me that that they recognise the repetitiveness because they become experts at the game of reeling people in. They can easily fake “charming”.
They pay very close attention to other people and can pick up on others feelings, needs, and vulnerabilities pretty quickly, so they know all the right things to say.
Personality disordered people have to put on a different persona to manipulate and con others.
And this behaviour is repetitive and they are aware that they are doing it and why they are doing it.
They are deceitful and devious.
They gain these skills as survival and defense mechanisms.
They see the repetitiveness in how others call them out on their bad behaviour and they push back and defend themselves, justify their behaviour, or blame the other party.
They know this is a pattern, but still are unable to face and accept their part or wrong doing.
They see the repetitiveness in how they go through many relationships, intimate or otherwise.
But they have an automatic blame shift that happens for them.
Regardless of how miserable their own life can become due to their own behaviour, the defense mechanism they use keep them from facing and accepting their wrongdoing to avoid shame.
It’s complicated, but deep down they are full of shame.
Because of the disorder they don’t care how others feel.
They don’t care who they hurt or how deeply they are hurt.
They lack empathy.
They recognise the repetitiveness in their dysfunctional relationships and difficulty in keeping relationships.
That is why they are brilliant with conning and manipulating.
“Narcissists are truly not a relationship material and will destabilise even a healthy individual, let alone the individual with existing emotional or self esteem problems”