Does The Narcissist Truly Believes The Fantasy He Creates?
What the lie is can be confusing.
What happens when you meet A Narcissist is that you are taken in by his love bombing techniques and later on when the devaluation phase takes over you won’t be able to believe how cruel he is.
You will interpret what happened like this:
• The Narcissist is in reality cruel but pretends to be nice.
• The Narcissist knows he is cruel.
• The lie is when he pretended to be nice.
What’s really happening is this:
• The Narcissist is at times nice and at times cruel.
• The Narcissist has an idealised false self which he believes is flawless.
• The lie that The Narcissist believes is that his idealised false self represents who he is.
The Narcissist has difficulties in such areas as splitting, lack of object constancy and lack of ambivalence which causes him to view people, especially himself, as all good or all bad.
Since all bad would be too painful The Narcissist creates an idealised self which is flawless.
He needs to see himself as flawless because a little bad would mean completely bad.
This is the lie that The Narcissist really believes.
He must because all bad would be too much too bare.
So it’s very difficult to know how out of touch The Narcissist really is with reality.
From my experience with A Narcissist I know that he knows the right from wrong but it never seems to hold much weight unless he is seeking supply or trying to maintain the facade of a holy out look Covert Narcissist territory.
The lie is only a means to an end to protect him against shame, dupe or inflate a very under inflated ego.
If he gets found out or caught in a lie with a supply then you better watch out as his rage is something quite disturbing or he will usually just gaslight.
My personal experience has given me more of an insight than any text book would be able to.
A Narcissist life is a facade.
A Narcissist doesn’t self reflect.
He lives superficially, convincingly and thoughtlessly.
His fantasy life substitutes for all authentic and committed existence.
A Narcissist is A Chameleon.
He is determined in his exercise of power.
His world is divided between those who matter and those who don’t matter.
The Narcissist is self absorbed.
His deep sense of insecurity prevents him from any desire to pursue reality for its own sake.
Lacking in integrity and response are self serving, instinct driven and predictably irrational.
The Narcissist lies are so extensive, so perpetual and so well entrenched that it goes on for years or decades and can involve anything small or big.
He is somebody whose lying has stepped way outside the bounds of normal human behaviour and into intriguing new territory.
He believes his own lies and he is enmeshed to his false persona.
He doesn’t recall his real self so he is living in a fantasy of his false persona.