Expect The Unexpected!
You will have to prepare and deal with the stark reality of the breakup and all of its psychological upsets that come with it.
The secret to surviving a breakup with A Narcissist is you to know what to expect.
It will be shocking but you will know how expect the shock factor.
Losing someone through a breakup is and can be devastating so never forget that you will still need to go through a grieving process.
Expect every trick that he has used on you in the past to resurface and he will try everything even new tricks you haven’t seen before.
Expect the unexpected.
Assume that The Narcissist will make contact with you even if he was the one to discard you.
He will at some point get bored with the new arrangement that he has made and will try to see if you are still hurting for him.
Some common mistakes we always do when this happens are,
• When you have broken up with A Narcissist stay broken up with him.
As devastated as you may be feeling the best thing to do for your sanity’s sake is to keep a journal about all the rough treatment you have received from him.
Have the journal with you at all times and write things down as you remember it.
This exercise will make you feel upset but it is a good idea to use meditation to help get yourself out of the negative thinking because rethinking about the hell that you suffered is bound to be a huge trigger.
When The Narcissist does get in contact refer to these negative memories and ask yourself this ,, Do I want to go back to feeling like this most of the time?
• Create your first boundary and make a solid commitment to yourself that you will have to keep up a no contact rule.
A no contact rule is important for many reasons and must be upheld by you if you are to survive this with your sanity intact.
It is important for you to remain silent because any utterance from you can and will be utilised in a negative way by The Narcissist.
He will be dissecting every single look, move or sound that you make and it will easily be used by him to prove his behaviour or used to discredit your name and to spread rumors about you.
If you give him nothing then your mind and your sanity are safe.
Of course The Narcissist will make stories up so expect it.
If he can’t find any dirt then he will use his active imagination and concoct a fairytale story where you are the villain and he is the victim.
• It will take time from you to get over this and just because he is A Narcissist doesn’t relieve the pain you will feel.
I’m not going to sugarcoat this, you will feel devastated, confused, hurt, manipulated and a whole host of other emotions.
You will naturally be going through a grieving process so expect your emotions to be up and down for a while ,, it is normal for this to happen.
• The key to surviving a breakup with A Narcissist is to fully understand that he will use every trick in his arsenal to gain your attention.
You know what the real face of The Narcissist is, only those who knows A True Narcissist will know this face.
You may have seen the rare glimpse of a softer nicer person, the one that you would drop everything for in a heartbeat.
Well this more delightful person can show itself to you to try to get you back do you always ave to remember that The Narcissist is a good actor.
I have been stung with this act many times to know exactly what it is when I see it and never to trust it.
I knew that nice wasn’t nice it was fake nice so it was just as scary as the normal Narcissist side because it threw me off balance so many times.
Experiencing this phenomenon I can only describe it as if someone is switching the switch for night and day, one friendly look to a stranger followed by a look towards me of hatred, anger and disgust.
As well as seeing The Narcissist’s nicer side here are some tricks he will use to try to get you back,
1. He will claim to change into a different person.
2. He will beg forgiveness and will be sorry for what he has put you through.
3. He will start saying all the stuff you wanted him to say when you were together.
4. He will go over all the good times you had together.
5. He will show you love and be supportive for the first time in ages.
6. He might even cry in front of you to make it look so sincere.
He will do everything possible even ridiculous things that will make your mind boggle.
• If you break the no contact rule with any of his tricks, he will soon be back to his usual Narcissistic Self.
He will manipulate you and you will see that see-saw of emotions resurface again like rage followed by insincere I love you and I will never do that again.
He is arrogant and he will ignore any boundaries you want to keep.
The mind games will start and so will the relentless competition he is in with you that you have no idea about.
So saying yes to A Narcissist will only mean that he will change back to the evil being he always was and soon you will be waist deep wallowing around in his excrement wishing you could escape and wondering why you were taken in so easily.
Expect to hear from him after a few months or even years.
It is usually a cryptic garbled message that looks like gobbledygook.
This is done on purpose for you to contact him and start the communication again.
The biggest mistake is to acknowledge him.
The no contact rule is there for a reason and it is a good reason.
Just remember that any acknowledgment from you will be used against you.
If The Narcissist is the one to discard you then guaranteed that there will be plenty of drama involved in it.
If The Narcissist has another victim to move onto then he will quickly move on and disregard you as if you never existed.
Or The Narcissist could be resentful to the fact that he doesn’t have a consistent supply to feed off so he will do everything in his power to make sure you have a miserable time without him.
The thought of you moving on with your life will enrage The Narcissist and he will be cruel towards you calling you every name in the book.
You will also become a part of the crazy people’s list The Narcissist has.