Finding Your Own Peace.

Hardly any words can come close to describing the pain you feel when you realise that the person who meant the world to you has become your worst enemy.

It is a deeper kind of loss because it is not like that person just betrayed you but life did.

This kind of love isn’t easy to leave.

You have become so accustomed to the bliss of being with someone and now the shock of this sudden stroke of evil isn’t real to you.

You keep hoping things will get better and that things will get back to the way it was.

Friends start warning you but you don’t listen because this isn’t who you fell in love with.

And as you hold on, The Narcissist teeters back and forth between the two sides of what seems to be a split personality.

But you know that at some point that last straw will be drawn and that the very core of your existence won’t be able to take it anymore so you will have to let go.

When you have experienced the depths of a pure love with someone who ended up turning on you, you will grow up on a level most don’t reach until way later.

Once you have gotten past the trauma of this toxic love, you won’t settle in with anybody for the sake of having someone.

In fact you might even develop a wild streak that goes on for a bit of time after the everything with The Narcissist ends.

While some will whine and pine for a significant other.

You will remind them that they should just enjoy each moment of being free to do whatever they want to.

When you het close to someone new after a while, you will be able to spot the warning signs before it is too late.

It is not like the signs weren’t there before,
it is just that you didn’t know how far things would actually go.

And you are not to blame for that.

By now you have got a sixth sense for toxic behaviours.

This goes hand in hand with one very important point which is that you will never let anyone control you ever again.

The second you feel like someone is trying to manipulate you, you will run instantly.

Because there is no bringing you down again.

There is no doubt that you loved your Narcissist but when your ideas of love failed to match up, everything crumbled.

Because one was of pure innocence and the other of pure evil which wasn’t the right fuel to make it last.

You look back on the fake good times and laugh then you reflect on the bad ones to remind yourself of how far you have come.

You will be open to the idea of love again and when it does happen you will go in with open eyes.

2 Comments

  • Nice poem Aya. It is a thin line between love and hate ,right!

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