Finding Yourself Again After Traumatic Experience.
I wasn’t a survivor of some large scale disastrous event.
I haven’t been physically assaulted.
Turns out I’m not the only one who’s surprised by The Trauma I’m carrying around and the effect it’s had on my physical, mental and emotional well being.
Most of us tend to think of Trains as something physical.
It’s actually defined by the National Institute of Mental Health as a terrifying ordeal that involved physical harm or the threat of physical harm or having witnessed a harmful event that happened to loved ones or strangers.
Because of this we tend to think of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as something reserved for soldiers, firefighters or fire line responders.
The truth is many more of us are dealing with the aftermath of Trauma than we realise.
What counts as Trauma?
Trauma comes in many shapes and sizes.
For me it was the untimely and painful betrayal of someone I respected and loved.
For countless women and many men too it’s an abusive relationship whether verbal, emotional or physical.
In many cases it’s the most sensitive and empathic of us who end up with these kind of people and are then left to cope with this aftermath alone.
In the hyper informed and connected world we live in, we don’t even have to experience Trauma first hand to experience the effects of it.
More of us are absorbing each other’s trauma and are exposed to so much of each other’s pain and suffering.
The other aspect of Trauma that is being talked about more lately is inherited or ancestral trauma.
After all energy can be passed on from one person to another and if our mother, father or even our grandparents experienced something Deeply Traumatic it’s not uncommon for us to still be carrying some remains of that energetic baggage generations down the line.
So if most of us have been affected by Trauma in some way then how can we begin to repair the damage, heal ourselves, reclaim our power and take back our lives.
With that in mind this is something that helped me get my life back after Trains and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
• Radical Acceptance.
Acceptance is the first step on the path to healing the grief that comes with Trauma.
This often manifests as a feeling that we are somehow broken or there is something inherently wrong with us.
And sometimes it originates in Childhood Trauma like an event as seemingly minor as a teacher who told us off in front of the class once or something a parent said to us that stuck.
Our judgment of others keeps us at war with life.
When we don’t face our ourselves, our fears, blame and shame prevent us from living and loving fully.
• Recovering from loving A Narcissist.
Part of my healing process was finally seeing the light when it came to one of the most cruel betrayals in my life.
In my case it wasn’t a partnership but another important game that I realised fit the Empath-Narcissist model.
It dawned on me that part of my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder went way back beyond the one Traumatic event I’d already identified.
Having this powerful Narcissistic Personality in my life had resulted in many of the issues people who have been in relationships with Narcissists know well such as low self esteem, persistent negative self talk, codependency to the point of becoming addicted to unhealthy relationships and the inability to set strong healthy boundaries.
Narcissism is a cycle of A Use that needs to be broken no matter where this pattern originated in your life.
If you don’t heal these wounds then you risk an ongoing pattern of unhealthy relationships.