Forgiving The Unforgivable.
We all have heard that to forgive is divine but what about those situations that feels nearly impossible to forgive?
What about those people who have treated us in such a way that it feels unforgivable?
We have to allow ourselves to feel the rage, the anger, the sense of injustice and all those feelings that are flooding to the surface as a result of someone else’s actions or behaviour.
Getting to a state of forgiveness too early can be detrimental to our emotional health because we are using forgiveness as a tool to suppress the underlying emotions that need to be felt and expressed in a healthy way.
If we don’t deal with our emotional pain it will go underground and will cause a lot of problems from the subconscious state.
The most important step towards forgiveness is to forgive ourselves.
People can treat us badly all the time but the real pain comes from believing that perhaps we don’t deserve to be treated in a better way or that we are somehow flawed and unworthy.
We need to forgive ourselves for any belief we are holding about ourselves that is less then loving.
We need to forgive ourselves for any judgment or hostility we are directing inward.
We get depressed when we repress our feelings.
Some people will tell you that Depression is Anger turned Inward.
When we turn any of our emotions in on ourselves we can enter a state of Depression.
This is because we are not being honest with ourselves and we certainly aren’t being loving.
When we can say,
I am angry,
I am sad,
I feel betrayed,
I feel hurt,
We are learning to be honest with our feelings.
If we kept on denying how we feel and kept pushing our feelings down it will always be there bubbling under the surface of our awareness.
Having love, compassion and care for ourselves is the most important step towards forgiveness because we need to create a safe place known as emotional safety to feel and work through our painful emotions.
We have to learn how to extend love and compassion to the one who is hurting.
We need to tell ourselves that it is ok to feel Angry.
We need to remind ourselves that people in their own unconsciousness will project their unconscious wounds onto the most convenient targets.
People who are deeply wounded and are hurting inside will hurt others because this is how they unconsciously discharge the pain within themselves.
Disowned Pain is projected outside of oneself onto the ones who trigger that pain.
Often we are triggers for another person’s repressed pain simply through the act of being ourselves.
It doesn’t mean that we are bad people.
We could be beautiful, successful or very loving and still trigger someone’s fear that they somehow aren’t good enough, beautiful enough or successful enough.
They will take all their fears and insecurities within themselves and project it onto us blaming us for how they feel.
The truth is we have nothing to do with how they feel inside.
We are simply a mirror that reflected back to them their own repressed feelings about themselves.
As we go deeper towards forgiveness we will develop an understanding of the Psychology Of The Human Mind.
We will learn that people don’t treat us badly because of who we are but because of who they are.
We need to learn not to take other people’s actions personally and it will be a very hard lesson to learn.
But in learning it we will be setting ourselves free.
When we understand that people treat us badly because of their own repressed pain, we will be able to develop compassion for them.
We will be able to see that our trespassers are suffering in their own way.
When we consider how much pain we are feeling as a result of the trespass, we will be able to gain an understanding to the level of pain that they must be feeling inside.
They may not be aware of their own pain which is why they are always attacking and blaming others.
I was told when I decided to step out into the world with my voice and talk about my own experience and about my own pain that I would be a target for others.
The more visible we are, the more we step into our true authentic selves, the more we shine our light into the world, the bigger targets we become for those who are still denying their inner reality.
I have been accused of living in denial by the one who was living in denial.
I have been accused of being heartless by the one who was heartless.
I have been accused of being ignorant by the one who was ignorant.
I have been accused of being selfish by the one who was selfish.
I have been accused of being Narcissistic by the one who was Narcissistic.
This is how Projection works.
I could not go out into the world if I didn’t understand Projection and I had to learn the hard way.
But as I stopped taking those who want to hurt me personally and stopped trying to defend myself, something interesting happened.
Suddenly they no longer have power over me.
When we truly begin to shine our light into the world, our light will illuminate the darkness in others.
Don’t allow those who are still living in darkness to dim your light and always keep shining.
Forgive yourself for thinking it was your fault when others wronged you.
Forgive yourself for believing that how others treated you had anything to do with who you are.
Forgive yourself for every time you failed to have compassion for the innocence inside of you.
Love your pain, your fear and your insecurities.
Find the courage to feel those feelings on a deeper level so it may be released from your emotional pain.
The more you work through your pain, the less others can have an effect on you.
Forgiveness begins at home inside of us.
Once we forgive ourselves all others will be forgiven.
This will free us to live in a state of love and compassion which is truly the only place to live.