He‘s Dating “Down” Because He Needs His Mate To Look Up To Him.
One of the smartest and most charasmatic Narcissistic Men that I know, always dates women of only average intelligence.
Another, very wealthy and good looking Narcissistic Man only dates less educated and less intelligent women who work in the stores that he frequents.
I have known others who made similar choices.
When I thought about what all these men have in common, I quickly realised that they are all Exhibitionist Narcissists who need constant admiration and lots of control over the people in their lives.
They often have no real friends who are their equals.
Instead they choose to socialise with people who work for them or want something from them.
They choose their women from the same pool as their “friends.”
They will leave a good looking, educated and independent woman for someone who’s not her equal because:
• They need to feel superior to the woman in their life, smarter, richer and better educated.
• They want their women to be totally dependent on them.
• If a woman is independent and has her own career and financial resources, this makes them feel too insecure.
• They have low self-esteem and don’t truly believe that any woman would like them for themselves alone.
• They want her to be focused totally on them and their needs.
Having a career and independent interests would limit how available she is.
• They have rescue fantasies and want to feel like the hero who swoops in and saves the fair maiden but independent women don’t need to be saved.
• They like being the one who “knows” and who introduces the woman to the best material and cultural things.
• They imagine that the woman will be grateful and admiring forever.
• They come from a lower social class themselves and are only really comfortable with women like the ones with whom they grew up.
• They unconsciously choose women who reminds them of their mother in an attempt to get the love and attention that their mother didn’t supply.
• The women they choose are like the girls that they lusted after in high school who wouldn’t date them.
Not all of the above apply to every Exhibitionist Narcissist Man.
Some are aspirational and only want to be with women that they consider “above” them in some way.
But if a man repeatedly chooses women who are less educated, less intelligent and less financially secure than he then it’s probably for some of the above reasons.
He’s dating “down” because he needs his mate to look up to him.
Many Narcissistic Men are not really searching for their equals.
They want someone that they can control and who they imagine will always admire them.
Occasionally they may choose a woman of higher status and achievement.
Once the glow of acquisition wears off, they begin to resent her.
She’s likely to have her own agenda and is unlikely to be an obedient and always an admiring spouse.
When they get tired of not having her full attention and start to resent her independence then they will look elsewhere for a more pliable mate.