How Emotional Pain Changes People!!
It is almost impossible to go through life without experiencing some tough truths, difficult lessons and an abundance of pain.
Even the happiest people in your life probably got to that happy place the hard way.
Unfortunately, you are no exception and neither am I.
Whether we like it or not, pain is part of life.
If not for pain, it would be that much harder to appreciate the good things you have and hold on to it really close.
Do you know why?
Because you know firsthand exactly how excruciating it is to be without those things.
The person who loves the hardest is usually the person who has been through the toughest ordeal.
Because the pain we experience changes us and it’s almost as if we have no say in the matter.
Pain makes you more guarded and less trustworthy.
A painful experience, especially if it includes betrayal from a person who was supposed to love you, causes one to distance themselves from people and ultimately that’s perfectly understandable.
Once you have been let down by a loved one, be that a romantic partner or your very best friend, you learn to shut people out.
There’s a dose of uncertainty as to what people really want from you and your inability to endure another betrayal due to your fragile emotional state.
Until you truly feel better, it’s easier to put some distance between yourself and others to make sure that you don’t suffer the kind of pain you have already experienced once.
You firmly decide that you just won’t let anyone in anymore and that’s a good thing.
That’s how a horrible event paves the way for better things to come into your life.
This is the kind of change that you will profit from because it puts you and your needs first.
• Pain makes it hard for you to forget the past.
Sometimes a broken heart can hurt almost as much as an actual physical pain and no, it’s not due to self-pity that you impose on yourself.
It’s simply far too much pain having your heart shattered by those who were supposed to guard it and it becomes impossible to forget.
You want to and you try like hell but every time you put yourself out there, you see the person who caused you emotional pain in somebody else and it all comes flooding back.
You are not to blame for that.
The pain has changed you.
The only person to blame is the one who put you through this in the first place.
There’s a reason this person is in your past and he should stay there for as long as you live.
Let your painful encounters become the best stories on how you survived and grew ,, that’s the best way to change.
All you need to do is not let him make you bitter but instead aware and alert.
• Pain makes you think that good things can’t last.
There is still hope within you.
It hasn’t completely vanished, it has just made you believe that even if you were lucky enough to find someone good, it surely wouldn’t last.
Now you no longer expect a positive outcome.
You just pray that the good time lasts long enough for you to enjoy it until it’s taken away again.
Every happiness that finds you is short-lived and ever so evasive.
It’s easier expecting little and getting crumbs than to expect what you actually deserve and get disappointed.
Heartbreak is excruciating.
It makes you believe you aren’t entitled to the good life because you are taught that life will eventually take it all away.
But it won’t, just because you went through it once doesn’t mean it’s destined to repeat itself.
The first time you get hurt is the hardest but every next time is a lesson on what to avoid.
And once you steer clear of what’s not right and embrace what you deserve, you will notice small but very important changes.
• Pain makes you forget about the importance of your mental health.
When you let someone get close enough sometimes you get burnt.
It sucks and it makes you feel like a knife has been put through your chest.
That residual pain can sometimes make you forget to take care of your mental health.
Yes, this person hurt you and yes you have been through hell and back but under no circumstances should you let an irrelevant person cause you that much emotional pain.
It will only destroy your mental health bit by bit, day by day.
You are the only one in charge of your happiness and once you truly understand how important it is to nurture your mind as well as your soul, every heartbreak will become a little easier to deal with.
It’s all because you will have realised that all that crap doesn’t define you.
The pain the person you loved has caused you doesn’t make you or break you if you don’t let it.
So don’t let it!
• Pain makes you reflect, re-evaluate and grow.
Take all the emotional pain you have been through in life and reflect on how it has changed you.
Certainly, you will see some of the positives that have come from it.
You used to date a certain type of people and ever since you stopped, you have probably noticed your love life has become less toxic.
You used to let your partner take advantage of you in more ways than one and ever since you decided enough was enough, you feel so much more liberated and free.
It all starts with you!
Yes pain will change you but it’s up to you to decide if it’s for the better or the worse.
At first it will sting.
But as time goes by, that burn will turn your bitterness into a genuine smile because you will finally see all the good that can come from it!
Now that you have been through it all, you understand how to avoid the bad and embrace the good.
Once you see the beauty that hides in every heartbreak and every betrayal, you will go back to the happy, carefree person you used to be but with a little twist!
Now, you put yourself and your emotions first and if someone doesn’t like it, he knows where the door is!
Believe me that will feel so damn good to say.