How I Handle Emotional Days.
While I was fighting through the worse part of my recovery I did have emotional days but I remained true to myself and remembered that everyone is different.
I’m not really someone who usually cry all over the place but at this time usually in the evening I would let go if I had a rough day and cry over TV movies which might have triggered me.
I still often read stuff or even share and I can feel that same pain but I don’t really have emotional days as I used to in the past.
I know that no matter what I could have done, it wouldn’t have been enough for him.
I‘m much stronger now because of his abuse.
Now I know that it wasn’t me, it was him.
Now I know that I deserve reciprocal love.
Now I’m certain that I’m not alone.
I reflect on positive relationships and remind myself what a healthy relationship is all about.
I hone my skills to be sure that I will never again be A Victim of Narcissistic Abuse.
I know that no matter how hard I try I won’t be able to heal him.
I can only heal myself and how I react to him.
I’m past crying about it or being sad now.
I always remind myself that I have been through the worst and it was very painful but that part is over.
What I have felt most recently is anger and resentment but again this will subside.
Educating myself about it plus reading others experiences have helped me a lot.
Exploring meditation to help relieve anxiety has helped and being willing to do the work I need to do on myself has shifted my attention from him to me.
He still pops into my mind from time to time but I don’t feel the longing and I don’t miss him as much so I feel like I have made a lot of progress and I only want to continue moving forward.
The first and the most useful step to calm down the pain together with the fear from it which leads to anxiety and depression is to realise that it is perfectly acceptable and normal to be in pain in certain situations.
Being in pain has its utility, it is a message we have to understand and learn something from.
Trying to resist thoughts and emotions makes it stronger and more obsessional.
We can name and analyse our emotions while it’s there taking the role of An Observer instead of A Victim.
Even better we may note it down so we can decide what to do with it later on thus regaining some sense of control and defeating the impression of helplessness due to the infantile regression which is one of the symptoms of Traumatic Bond.
We can even welcome those emotional days like old friends who can help us see and understand what’s wrong in it in order to recognise and avoid it in the future.