How To Let Go Of Someone You Love?!
Giving up on someone you love doesn’t mean you are weak.
Sometimes it means you are brave enough to let go.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love?
It is important to remember that letting go of someone you love isn’t something you do once and then you are free, healed and happy.
Letting go is a journey peppered with steps forward and steps backward, good days and bad days.
You have to know that letting go of the man you love is like losing a piece of your identity.
You hold on because you are holding on to something that keeps your sense of self intact.
You have come to know and understand yourself with this person.
You can let go only when your sense of self and your cohesion no longer depends upon the idea of him, an idea that remains for a long time inextricable from the very idea of yourself.
If you truly want to let go of someone you love then you need to change how you see yourself.
You need to be aware of who you were when you were with him and accept that this episode of your life is over.
Now you are someone new ,, someone different.
• Believe that this is better for you.
You may feel unhappy, sad and lost when you are struggling to learn how to let go of someone you love.
You don’t feel loved, warm, centred or happy.
Maybe you feel depressed and unworthy, alone and afraid.
But what if what happened is actually the best thing for you?
What if you knew what God knows about your life and future?
Can you imagine what it would feel like if you found out that letting go of this person is the best thing for you?
Learning how to let go is painful.
It hurts and there is no way around the pain.
Unless you allow yourself to believe in the idea that this really is the best way for your life to unfold.
• Accept that you did the best you could.
Don’t waste your time or energy feeling guilty or bad about the choices you made!
I spent a couple of years wallowing in regret, self recrimination and low self worth.
And it did no good at all.
It was actually harmful because I was wrestling with the unknown.
I didn’t know why I lost someone I loved deeply and I had no idea why he chose to leave me.
You did the best you could and you loved as much as you were able to.
No matter what you did or didn’t do ,, it had to end.
If you want to be happy and healthy which will involve learning how to let go of someone you love then you need to practice acceptance.
• Decide what needs to be changed in your life.
You have to actively decide that you want to let go of the one you love.
Who do you want to be?
Where do you want to live?
Yes, you need to grieve the fact that you have to start over.
You need to go through the pain, process the loss and work through the disappointment of your broken dreams.
This is active grieving and it is so healthy!
Actively grieving your loss is searching for tips on how to let go of someone you love and actually applying those ideas into your life.
Avoid the temptation to focus on the pain of letting go.
Instead take the time to consider all the possibilities and options.
You are on the verge of a new beginning and a fresh start in your life and it isn’t easy.
It is painful in a variety of different circumstances and it requires strength, courage and determination.
But encouraging yourself to focus on fresh new beginnings can help you learn how to let go of a loved one and move on with hope, faith and peace.
• Accept your lack of control.
To let go of someone you love you need to accept that you can’t control many things in your life.
You can’t control who loves you,
Who leaves you,
Who helps you or who betrays you.
You can’t control your neighbourhood, the traffic or the weather.
Of all the things you want to change in your life remember that you can’t change people.
You can sometimes change circumstances and you can change your attitude and response to events and people but you can’t change people.
One of the hardest things about letting go of someone you love is not having a closure.
• Refresh yourself emotionally and spiritually.
The happiest people are those in touch with their spiritual and emotional selves.
Adding spirituality to your life will not only make you feel better emotionally but it will improve your physical health.
Being spiritual doesn’t mean you need to go to the mosque, church or synagogue.
Being in touch with your spiritual self is about dipping into the flow of God’s healing energy.
However you describe your Higher Power to be, step into that flow.
Tap into your soul by meditating, praying and taking the time to really listen to your heart, reading soulful books and talking to people about spiritual matters.
When you are trying to let go of someone you love it is a perfect time to start getting back into your spiritual life.
It is important to remember that letting go of someone you deeply loved is a process that takes time.
Let yourself heal gradually and grieve your loss.
Don’t expect to be happy, healthy and healed overnight!
It will take time and a lot of effort but if you take it slow and steady you will find yourself coming out of this tunnel of darkness.
• Always ask for help.
When you can’t let go of the past try to consider a session or two with a life coach or a counsellor.
An objective outsider can help you let go and move on.
Whether you should hire a life coach or talk to a counsellor depends on your situation.
If you are struggling with self identity, major life changes, fear, anxiety or depression then I encourage you to talk to a counsellor or a therapist.
Get objective support, feedback and guidance that your friends and family can’t offer when you are trying to let go of someone you love.
• Learn from others who have been in this situation.
I know how shocking, confusing and heart wrenching it is when you are letting go of a loved one.
It is devastating and it changes how you see yourself and the World forever.
Learning how to let go of someone you love is all about rediscovering your passion and identity.
You can do it ,, you just need to believe.