How To Stay Out-Of-Contact With A Narcissist That You Still Love?!
If you really love this person, then you want to help him, right?
Well, the only way to give him a chance at healing and getting better is to cut off a high-quality supply source for him you because it gives him the opportunity to reflect on his behaviour and make changes.
He probably won’t, but at least you are giving him that chance.
You love him, right?
Well that is his only hope.
It’s only a Collapsed Narcissist who seeks help and gets better.
If you go back to being his supply source, you are just feeding his disorder and keeping him sick.
Secondly, replay in your mind every dark-and-evil thing he said or did to you during devaluation.
Every time you feel that yearning when a memory from the love bombing phase pops into your head, instantly call up a memory from the devaluation phase when his mask dropped and you saw the evil lurking within.
Picture his face, recall his stinging words in those mask-dropped moments.
He purposefully broke you and then looked at you like you were nothing, like you were worthless.
Remind yourself: that this is who he really is.
You need to stay away.
Third, get around warm, caring people that make you feel emotionally safe.
Just get in their presence.
Doesn’t matter what you do with these people or what you talk about, just interact with them.
Notice how even you feel inside.
There’s no eggshells you need to walk on; you are not waiting for the axe to drop either.
It’s just peaceful and easy.
Follow those good feelings and it will make you strong.
They are signposts pointing you in the right direction.
Listen to your body and remember, you are safe now.
Also, the best way to stay out-of-contact with a Narcissist that you still love is to educate yourself on the characteristics of a Narcissist or a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Read everything you can on the disorder so that you are familiar with their behaviour.
The more you understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder the more you can resist his charm.
What keeps me strong is arming myself with education and my strong faith in God.
I read everything I can on the subject.
It makes me realise that they are incapable of getting better if they have a full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
God has given me the strength to endure what I have gone through.
As a result I am now equipped with lots of information on dealing with Covert Narcissistic Personality Sociopath.
God has given me the ability to write and share my experience with those who are hurting.
You need to realise that they are extremely self-centered and selfish and in their mind you are just a tool to satisfy their needs and make them feel good by putting you down.
They are also extremely charming, loving, supportive, and caring on the outside in public but behind closed doors they will rip you to shreds.
Trust me it is a HUGE mistake to stay with a Narcissist.
They are incapable of loving you or anyone else but themselves.
Try to understand Narcissism and Narcissistic Abuse, as the brain likes understanding things to obtain closure.
Narcissistic Abuse involves psychological tactics akin to brainwashing.
Much of what they do is targeted to get you to accept their reality as your own.
One of the techniques Narcissists use is mirroring.
They reflect you to yourself.
Another tactic is projection, where they project their perceived character flaws onto you.
Perhaps the worst tactic is gaslighting, in the sense of invalidating your reality “that’s your perception”.
Their lack of empathy is also psychologically damaging, as well as their inability to emotionally connect.
It’s not at all like a breakup with a person without a personality disorder.
On the average it takes seven times for an Abuse victim to get away.
Regarding how to stay out of contact, understand that what you are afflicted to is a dream and an illusion.
Remind yourself of the truth, that you owe it to yourself to take care of yourself, and healing can only occur when you remove yourself from the source of the problem.