I Can See Right Through You Now.

You were really good at playing the nice man card and fooling me into thinking that I have found a diamond in the rough.

When really you just turned out to be fantastic at pretending to be the good man because you are nothing but A Heartless Narcissist.

I’m going to mark this one down as another lesson learnt.

An unfair painful lesson to learn.
You have taught me what to look for though in regards to the traits and types of men I need to steer clear of.

I trusted you with things I didn’t share with many people because I thought you were different.

I guess the real joke was on me.
You wanted me when it was convenient for you which is a very selfish move.

I thought maybe things could change.
We could do it your way for awhile and something would click inside that head of yours.

That somewhere inside of you hiding was this romantic version of you that would come out and sweep me off my feet again.

That you would stop feeding me these I have a lot on my plate lines and I don’t have time for myself because I’m dedicated to helping people crap.

I made countless excuses for you and your behaviour towards me.

Everyone tried to warn me and make me see what’s hidden behind your charming fake mask.

They told me to stay away from you.
They told me that you are not a man of his word and that you have no morals.

They told me I deserved better and they were right.

I do deserve better.

You made me feel bad for caring.
Who does that?

I apologised for worrying about you and for sharing my emotions with you.

You made me feel needy and burdensome.

Now I know that the only person I should really be apologising for is myself.

I should apologise to my heart for letting it get pulled through the ringer again.

I should apologise for letting it go on for so long.

I should apologise to myself for thinking that there was something wrong with me that made me feel undesirable and unlovable.

I had to tell everyone that they were right and apologise for not listening to them sooner because I now know that they were just trying to save me from the tears and the heartbreak.

I know that I’m coming out stronger in this situation so the jokes are on you.

I’m a stronger woman for what has transpired between us.

The moment when it all clicked and I realised that I’m not crazy for wanting more from the one I love.

It may have taken me longer to get there but it’s ok because I’m here now.

At least when I look at my reflection in the mirror I see a strong woman who is going to do great things but more importantly I see a woman who doesn’t need you.

I wonder what you see when you look at yourself in the mirror.

I’m pretty sure you are so far into the charades that the real you is lost in.

Now I see through all your lies and I’m no longer fooled.

There may be a time when you will miss me but you won’t find me then.

I learnt from the best on how to focus on what is best for me and that is exactly what I’m doing now.

Now I can see right through you and I’m no longer impressed by the heartless man who pretends to be something he can never be.

5 Comments

  • I appreciate you getting back to me. I’m fresh going no contact it’s been about two weeks now. I’ve been trying to change my perspective and reprogram my thoughts when it comes to this 51 year old man with the same mentality that he had at 14. When we met he promised me heaven ( He guaranteed me hell ) All I wanted was to get along with this demon behind the mask person and he made sure all my efforts were futile. This man would sing songs and be mocking me the whole time and I didn’t even realize he was making fun of me. The song ” I’m your Pusha man by Curtis Mayfield regarding him giving drug addicted people drugs. He knew he was addicting to me. Wow!! that’s crazy or The song ill keep holding on. We were definitely on two different pages. He told me he wanted another woman and he said that I thought that he was doing it for love he said that he was doing it to get ahead. I’m tired of all of that years of abuse in every form and fashion. I know I have a long journey ahead but I’m willing to face my abandonment fears head on so this low life that never deserved me will never have me on a hamster wheel moving in one spot and my efforts going no where ever again. I found you at the right time. You felt everything I felt I read your post and I cried right along with you we don’t know each other but we know that underserved pain don’t’ we? May God continue to bless your life and thank you again for helping bring awareness to this kind of masked evil. I look forward to everything you post 🙂

    • I know how it feels and believe when I tell you that you will heal, it will take time and some days you will miss him but you will heal. It took me 3 years to finally not feeling anything when I see him but some days I miss the person I thought he was then I remind myself that this person never existed.
      You are on the right path and you are better off without him because you have to be with someone who knows your worth ,, I will always have you in prayers. God bless you and be strong and always remember that it’s ok to cry and it’s ok to not be ok at times ❤️

  • Imagine someone you love plotting against you pulling the rug out from under you. And you didn’t see that coming. And days leading to his day off your getting the boot he’s a cocky piece of shit just waiting to unleash his poison in your veins. .who delights on an act so painful. I can’t believe I wasted all these years on someone I believed in that couldn’t stand me. Held a grudge against me because he beat me up and the cops were called and I did a police report. So it’s been even worse with him every since. He is a parasite leach that has no life skills that will never grow up.

  • Omg.. I cried reading these post. I felt you words describe my profound pain. I read your post everyday. I was discarded by my first what I thought was love. We met when I was 13 we are in our fifties now. The part I really hate is he turned on our kids ad well. He said if he’s done with me he’s done with our kids too. He has discarded me in the most evil diabolical ways. I can’t believe I slept next to someone capable of the most hateful treatment. He has always cheated on me . I was loyal to him and dedicated half of his time has been in prison. He’s s two faced puppet to his father the devil. We had a cellphone while he’s in prison. He lied to me and told me it was taken. Because he was talking to someone else. I was so comfortable around this demon and then I became an alien in the atmosphere he created that I once knew and now has been rejected. I felt every feeling you felt it’s almost scary how they all carry things out the same. Reading your post is helping me so much I really appreciate you. Keep up these post you have emotionally reached me.

    • Am sorry you had to to go through it and believe me I know how it feels ,, until this day he’s trying to destroy my life after discarding me 3 years ago.
      They are heartless Predators with no conscience so anything can be expected from a person who doesn’t have a conscience.
      You words means a lot to me and thank you for your nice words.
      I always say that all of us who have been through an experience with a narcissist we are like soul sisters because we understand how deep is the pain.
      Once again thank you ❤️❤️❤️

Share Your Thoughts

%d bloggers like this: