I Have Got My Demons And They All Look Like You!
I know you are the last thing I should be looking for because you are the last person I should need.
So why do I want you so bad then?
Why do I want someone who has hurt me not once or twice but many times?
Which was a pattern that has occurred so much that it stopped hurting after a while.
There is a thrill to it that I can’t explain.
There is a thrill to what we do to one another.
It would be nice to just get along but we didn’t do that.
In you I saw everything I loved and hated about a person.
I ran from my own demons and in doing so every time I find myself running to you.
It is a self inflicted pain that I can’t seem to get enough of.
People ask why do I keep doing this to myself?
I think because I like it when the pain stops.
There is a sense of control to it.
There is something about you and us that made me feel alive.
There is something about you in such darkness that lights me up in a way no one else did.
Maybe it is a cry for help.
Maybe I’m filling a void.
Maybe I would rather have someone’s halfhearted love than nothing at all.
And when you came it was never for long because you were never meant to stay.
And with that you took pieces of me on your way.
You were only meant to be some fantasy.
That is all you have ever been.
I should have let you go by now.
You are A Devil who charmed me as you took my hand asking for just one dance.
You might be A Demon I wasn’t the first to dance with but we were dancing in a place called hell and you made it seem like heaven for a little while.