I Know How It Feels.
I know how easy it can be to feel sentimental, to miss someone, to pine for him back in your life and to go to the old wonderful memories.
I have done it all myself and still do sometimes.
I know what it is like to grant someone another chance and then another in the hope that I can have this person as the love of my life.
I know what it is like to hear through other people that this person loves you and misses you and how easy it is to be hoovered back into a relationship.
I know what it is like when trying to move on and comparing what you miss about this person, you feel intensely that you want to go back to him.
I have been there and felt and done all of those things.
You need to understand that there is no such thing as crying too much or for too long.
Grief is a very hard and painful process.
You need to release it in order to move past the pain.
Tears are the elixir of healing and serve a vital purpose.
Narcissist don’t deserve our tears.
Narcissists are clever when they twist their words, project all of the blame onto us and they make us believe that we have all of these faults.
You have to unravel the lies from the truth and sort out which bits were real and which were just part of his sick fantasy world.
Once you accept that you were just one person in his long line of victims, it dulls the senses a bit.
It will take time, I wish I could tell you that it will be easy.
You will have a lot to process with grief, loss and betrayal.
Cognitive Dissonance adds a dimension of difficulty but the more you learn and understand the pattern of what happened to you and how you were just an object in his twisted game, the more your experience is validated.
The more you accept that this person is disordered, the sooner you will be able to focus on yourself.
You will come to realise that there was nothing you could do to have it turn out any other way because what happened had nothing to do with you, it was done to you.
Tears of sadness will turn into anger.
A good healthy self protective anger that you will need to fuel the fire in your soul to reclaim your worth and get your life back on track.
It is difficult in the beginning but the time apart will help you see the truth and the truth will set you free.
Soon you will realise that the past was not as rosy as you missed and the future that you think you have lost will not be as fantastic as you imagined.
You will also see how futile it is to have anything more to do with him.
With all that, you will take tentative steps forward and eventually realise that this new path of No Contact is going to be your main road from now on.
You will be afraid but take heart, many have gone through this and emerged victorious.
Be strong ,, You can do it ,, You are healing.