I Know What Fake Love Looks Like!
I know what fake love looks like.
It’s melody has echoed like a toxic mantra within the chambers of my soul for most of my Adulthood.
I believed the lies which twisted itself into music, movies and conversations of my life and the ones that tattooed the words love hurts into my psyche.
As time passed and relationships began, bloomed and died, I truly believed that the pain I experienced when the connection withered was a measure of how true the love was.
It amazes me now when looking over my shoulder and into my memories how clearly I see the tattered weeds I once watered thinking it was flowers.
Love does not hurt it simply can’t.
Pain is as foreign to love as the heavens are to the seas.
When we look out into the horizon it may seem like it touches or even unites but it is just an optical illusion.
Though it may be perceived as reality by those who don’t understand the tricks of bending light and distance.
Love has many impostors.
The names are Attachment, Lust, Fear and Need.
Each is deceptive and powerful but it gives birth to the same child in perpetuity and the name is Pain.
Love can only beget love.
When that truth introduced it’s light into the crevices of my heart, a purging began.
Love will never leave me hungrier than I was prior to sitting at it’s table.
Love will never strip me of the robes of my dignity and leave me naked and scratched by the talons of Shame.
Love will shelter me, shield me, teach me and heal me.
Those are the defining characteristics of Love which separate it from it’s counterfeits.
Don’t mistake Love for Attachment because Attachment is forever hungry and never satisfied.
I recall when I was in Attachment.
It gnawed at my insides like a ravenous parasite needing to feed on the dysfunctional energy it generated when it was close to the object of it’s desire, It is never satiated.
Now that I know Love, however, I know it to be self sustaining as it nourishes my spirit with it’s unique elixir.
Do not mistake Love for Lust because Lust is an intoxicating addiction.
Love seduces the soul and transcends base physical desires.
Love is not Fear either because fear is the ultimate chameleon and can assume the appearance of many things.
Love is no exception to Fear’s camouflage abilities.
Fear has kept me rooted to negative situations and people in my past.
Afraid to move forward and scared of the unknown.
I remember when familiarity seemed to be a prized commodity even when hurt was the constant companion in my life but at least I knew it’s face.
Since then though I know that wherever I walk with Love it not only becomes a fellow traveler but also my guide.
It leads me down a path of self discovery and growth where Fear would never tread.
Finally Love is not Need because Need for many things can seem to be Love when viewed through the fun house mirror of Desire.
A Need for a ring, A Need for children and A Need for an escape from loneliness.
Need can make us lose sight of our true value as we stand at life’s roulette table and gamble away our standards and self worth just to be Needed.
Love, however is no game of luck or chance because it’s an investment that is sure to bring ample returns if it is preserved and honoured.
In order to experience the full magnificence of Love, we can’t have our hands full with any of the aforementioned deceivers.
When we release it, our hands may seem bruised and blistered after having held on so tightly to it’s acidic presence.
However, remember that like me, your scars are God’s signature upon the tapestry of your life.
Warriors bear scars as do Survivors.
It’s a misunderstood beauty.
So now that we have explored together what Love is not, I invite you to join me in discovering it’s full potential on our independent yet ever connected journeys.