I Loved You Deep Enough To Let You Break Me!
You have never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable.
Known someone that could level you with her eyes.
Feeling like God put an angel on Earth just for you who could rescue you from the depths of Hell and you wouldn’t know what it is like to be her angel or to have that love for her be there forever.
You don’t know about real loss because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself.
I doubt you have ever dared to love anybody that much.
~Good Will Hunting~
Some called it stupidity.
I called it bravery.
Some called it desperation.
I called it desperately hanging onto a feeling.
Some called it weakness.
I called it strength.
Some called it foolishness.
I called it knowing something they didn’t.
To have loved someone more than I loved myself was quite rare because there is a beauty to loving someone so selflessly.
I loved him so selflessly that I kind of forgot to give that love to myself.
I think love is strong because it teaches us how far we would be willing to go for a another person.
It teaches us to never do it again.
But it is still so important.
While loving someone more than ourselves isn’t healthy, I think it is an essential phase everyone must go through.
To sacrifice everything for one person is beautiful in a way because we have that much faith and little life experience to follow our hearts.
So To The Man I loved More Than Myself.
I loved you more than I think I could have ever loved anyone.
You left a mark forever imprinted within my heart.
It wasn’t so much a choice as much as it felt like a force bringing us together and there wasn’t a thing in the world that would have stopped me from loving you.
You made me believe in you blindly.
You gave me something to hold on to.
You showed me what true love could have meant and made me love you with everything I had.
I think my love to you was so strong that you couldn’t reciprocate it.
Everyone likes to be loved.
Everyone likes to know they matter.
Everyone wants someone to look at them as flawlessly as I looked at you and think they weren’t as bad as they thought they were.
I would have given you the world if only you didn’t break my heart.
If only you let yourself be a little vulnerable.
I wasn’t afraid to love you.
I wasn’t afraid of showing you all of myself.
I wasn’t afraid of putting it all on the line because I knew that when someone matters you don’t wait for things to happen you go and make it happen.
Maybe it was too much at times.
Maybe I consumed you with these feelings that overcame me every night.
Maybe I tried too hard.
Maybe I made it too easy.
In my eyes I saw you as that man who flawlessly carried himself so gracefully through life and all I thought was could I keep up?
Could I be better?
What more could I do?
Is there anything more I can say?
When you are like me you don’t fear these intense emotions and you won’t fear to say I love you but you will say it and never regret it.
I loved you in the best way I could.
I think there is a chance I always will.
Your memory will haunt me like a catchy tune on repeat that I refuse to change.
I won’t ever consider loving as a mistake.
I won’t ever regret the depths at which it was.
You brought me to a place I look forward to revisit in the future with someone else.
With someone who will reciprocate all the things you couldn’t.
And I will realise you weren’t flawless or as perfect as I once thought you were.
You will fall from that pedestal I put you on.
That moment will come where you realise the biggest mistake you ever made was not returning the love and not realising the value of someone who gave you her best.
You will watch me walk away with fingers intertwined in a hand that isn’t yours.
A new feeling will overcome you.
A feeling that I am no longer an option.
That feeling will leave your stomach in knots full of regret for not realising my worth sooner.