I Loved You To The Point Of No Return. To You SY.
When I said hello to you I had no idea of the devastation your goodbye would bring.
When I fell for you something inside me told me that our story will not last.
But that did not stop me from loving you.
You charmed me with eyes so alluring and a smile so riveting that I found myself enthralled with you.
You spun me around with your lies and pretence so real that I fell under your spell.
You swept me away in this whirlwind romance.
I was like a hyper speed rollercoaster diving straight into destruction and praying you were there to catch me.
I was immersed in flames that you lit and I got what I bargained for when you left me in ashes.
I loved you to the point of no return.
You established a stronghold in my mind and possessed a space in my heart.
You branded your presence on my skin and engraved your name on my soul.
I loved you but you took all my words and made my thought incoherent.
You broke my concentration and left me delirious with the thought of you.
Loving you was the Aftermath of a disaster.
The damage was done.
Trees were uprooted and houses were in an unrecognisable wreckage.
The sunlight that shone on my face was a mockery of what occurred before.
Shell shocked I could only huddle my arms around myself shivering as you proceeded to tell me how I absolutely meant nothing to you.
Just like that you were gone and everything dissolved into dust.
I wanted to pretend that nothing happened and everything was ok.
But just like the hurricane you couldn’t leave quietly.
You crushed my hopes and dreams so ruthlessly that I felt it was the end.
You broke my heart so mercilessly that I forgot I even had one.
You destroyed the last shred of my sanity that I felt as though I was stuck in a recurring nightmare with no possibility of being released.
Loving you felt like time travel.
My gaze fell on your familiar eyes and my throat constricted as waves of memories came crashing back.
I remember the first time I told you how I felt about you and you telling me how blessed you are that I’m feeling that way towards you.
Then I thought of how I begged you not to go and how my pleas fell on an unmovable heart.
It doesn’t matter how long it has been because I still remember it all.
Loving you made me grow up in a way that changed me.
No longer do I hold unrealistic expectations towards love nor do I harbour any childish dreams of what I hope love could be.
Never will I attempt to hold someone into my vision of a soulmate nor will I try to force love.
Not in any way will I chase a relationship so desperately that I lose myself nor will I ever make someone my entire universe such that my existence crumbles when he leaves.
I have become more grounded with reality and have learnt to be more rational instead of blindly following my heart.
I stopped blaming myself for your shortcomings and realising that you are fighting battles that have nothing to do with me.
I have become more confident and certain of what kind of a man I want to be with.
I have become more independent and I have become my own soulmate instead of waiting for a love to save me.
I have become stronger and I have healed my fragmented heart by myself.
I now know that I’m completely whole without you and that I don’t need you by my side.