I Loved You, Why Are You Punishing Me For It?!
Narcissists are not capable of sustaining genuine love, loyalty or respect for others, especially those who in fact love them, loyal and respectful to them.
Anyone who triggers their profound insecurity or injury from childhood that never heals is a fair game.
Narcissists punish for numerous reasons and they do it without remorse believing that you deserve it and would do the same to them if you were clever enough or if given the chance.
Their reasons for punishment are to control, to get revenge, to demonstrate their power of influence, to obtain and regain compliance, to vent their rage, to assert their entitlement, to shut down potential or actual threats, to defeat competition, to display dominance, to get respect, to create fear and to derive sadistic pleasure.
Narcissists are very insecure and they have very fragile egos and they don’t trust others.
Their beliefs and behaviours are very egotistical and steeped in fear and neediness.
They aren’t hurting others just because they lack a conscience and are trying to moderate their self esteem.
They are doing it also because they enjoy and even delight in humiliating, dominating ,defiling and dehumanising others.
Narcissists need to CONTROL others because somewhere in their past they learnt that their true self was not adequate to get its needs met and what was required to not be emotionally annihilated was a false self, a buffer that could pretend to be someone who the Narcissist is not to manipulate, deceive and avoid accountability.
The false self defences are:
If I control and punish you then you can’t hurt me again.
Narcissists will punish you to keep you in line because they feel so bad about themselves so by punishing and controlling you it boost their ego and make them feel good about themselves and in return you feel like worthless.
This is the replay of original childhood wounds but this time as a more equipped and practiced adult, using tactics to survive from the terror of the alive and festering wounds inside the Narcissist’s wounds of childhood neglect, abuse and enmeshment.
Narcissists are not likely to understand their wounded childhood plight let alone yours but they do know how to hook you and get narcissistic supply as well as punish you to avoid their own dysfunction by lining you up, projecting their self loathing on to you and making you become the wrong and crazy one.
Narcissists will hurt and punish your soul beyond the capacity of any words.
When you no longer fear the Narcissist, they will have no energy to abuse you with.