I May Be Broken Now But I Will Heal.
Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.
I’m constantly wondering why our seemingly perfect relationship didn’t work out?
In my head I’m constantly replaying our last conversation.
What if I didn’t say this or what if I said that.
It hurts that it ended.
But it hurts more because it ended abruptly.
When a relationship is abruptly ended, you are cut off and there is no explanation.
You wonder what you did and you have to process the loss and closure alone.
You feel duped so you play the relationship back and search for the signs but you ultimately end up blaming yourself.
I regret that for you, our relationship was so loosely defined that it was easier to walk out on me than to work with me.
I’m very much lost but I’m not all gone.
At least I was committed to work on it if I was given a chance.
I’m hopeful because I’m reminding myself that the heartache I’m feeling is real but it doesn’t mean I’m the cause of it.
You see relationships don’t always end the way we expect it to.
Sometimes we have to let go in order to move forward.
And even though it is a hard and a very unpleasant experience I’m reminding myself that I deserve someone who doesn’t blindside me.
I know we are no longer together.
But the experiences I had with you, good or bad will forever remain inside of me.
I loved you so hard and I’m proud of that because it makes me human.
The heart is a muscle and what do muscles do when it is torn?
It grows back stronger.
Life is so simple yet we constantly complicate it.
I’m learning that if someone says or does something that causes me pain it’s ok to feel lost for a while but eventually I will have to deal with it and move on!
I accept my feelings and have no expectations of an apology from you.
My happiness and self worth will not depend on you or your apology.
It’s just irrational to empower someone in that way.
My message that I want to deliver is your happiness and self worth depend on you and only you.
Having the expectation and need for another’s apology regardless of the circumstances in order to feel accepted and validated is a terrible way to live life.
I have decided to stop putting my happiness in the hands of others and start taking it into my own hands.
I have decided to start accepting my own feelings and experiences instead of waiting for others to do it for me!
I’m lost now but I’m also very hopeful.