I Never Had To Question How I Felt About You ..

From the moment I saw you there was this instant attraction.

We spoke and I just knew it.

There was a fascination to you I couldn’t quite describe.

You were handsome and charming.
You made me laugh until I was red.

You also made me blush.
I couldn’t really tell the difference between the two.

It was that moment your hand reached for mine and how comfortably it fit together.

I will admit that you made me feel all sorts of things I couldn’t even make sense of.

It was like a kaleidoscope of emotions with you all mixed together in colours I never thought could compliment each other .

Both fear and excitement.
Both curious and timid.
More than that I just wanted to know more because I was fascinated by you.

And as we engaged in conversations you just further confirmed that you were someone I knew I would like.

You were someone I just wanted to know better.

But you were coy in the art of deception and I too was so blind to see it.

I liked someone who kept me on my toes.
And I thought we were on the same page because you led me to believe we were.

You looked at me with a confidence I thought I could believe in or maybe I saw what I wanted to believe was there.

But somewhere along the way there was a shift in you.

Maybe it came after getting what you wanted?

Maybe you had prior motives the whole time?

Maybe I was a fool for believing in you and falling so quickly?

I never questioned how I felt about you.
I never saw you in a different light.
I never second guessed anything going through my mind.

Because even as things shifted and you began to change I was still trying to find the best light in you.

I was still trying when it seemed you were doing everything but that.

It is almost like you wanted to push me away.

It takes a very rare person to push me past the limits of not caring but that is exactly what you did.

Because I didn’t deserve someone who made me question my every move and every word.

I didn’t deserve someone who got up and changed the rules just because he felt he could.

I didn’t deserve someone who wasn’t honest and sincere.

I will put on my best poker face and my biggest smile for the show if ever we happen to cross paths.

Because I do still care and I think part of me always will.

But I’m at a point where I had to draw a line between missing you and respecting myself enough not to show it.

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