I Never Had To Question How I Felt About You ..
From the moment I saw you there was this instant attraction.
We spoke and I just knew it.
There was a fascination to you I couldn’t quite describe.
You were handsome and charming.
You made me laugh until I was red.
You also made me blush.
I couldn’t really tell the difference between the two.
It was that moment your hand reached for mine and how comfortably it fit together.
I will admit that you made me feel all sorts of things I couldn’t even make sense of.
It was like a kaleidoscope of emotions with you all mixed together in colours I never thought could compliment each other .
Both fear and excitement.
Both curious and timid.
More than that I just wanted to know more because I was fascinated by you.
And as we engaged in conversations you just further confirmed that you were someone I knew I would like.
You were someone I just wanted to know better.
But you were coy in the art of deception and I too was so blind to see it.
I liked someone who kept me on my toes.
And I thought we were on the same page because you led me to believe we were.
You looked at me with a confidence I thought I could believe in or maybe I saw what I wanted to believe was there.
But somewhere along the way there was a shift in you.
Maybe it came after getting what you wanted?
Maybe you had prior motives the whole time?
Maybe I was a fool for believing in you and falling so quickly?
I never questioned how I felt about you.
I never saw you in a different light.
I never second guessed anything going through my mind.
Because even as things shifted and you began to change I was still trying to find the best light in you.
I was still trying when it seemed you were doing everything but that.
It is almost like you wanted to push me away.
It takes a very rare person to push me past the limits of not caring but that is exactly what you did.
Because I didn’t deserve someone who made me question my every move and every word.
I didn’t deserve someone who got up and changed the rules just because he felt he could.
I didn’t deserve someone who wasn’t honest and sincere.
I will put on my best poker face and my biggest smile for the show if ever we happen to cross paths.
Because I do still care and I think part of me always will.
But I’m at a point where I had to draw a line between missing you and respecting myself enough not to show it.