I Sensed Your Darkness But Was Still Hopeful.
I sensed what The Narcissist was truly inside.
I sensed the red flags and I thought it was fixable.
Anybody would adjust to grow and expand and I wanted him to have a second chance in life.
He even used to tell me that I was a blessing.
This is one of the reasons why Narcissists fool their Victims because we give them the benefit of doubt.
I was optimistic about the future.
I was casting projections of my own good intentions.
Honestly who can choose to do wrong when there is no reason?
How can someone prefer not to have a good life?
It just doesn’t make sense.
I believe in the power of love.
I wanted to help him.
I was ready to dedicate myself to fix the chaos.
But he took the second chance and can thought only of how to hit me harder.
I realised how evil was contaminating my whole environment when I accidentally found evidence of serial affairs and then people told me to research further.
Then I understood he was doing it on purpose and had no intention to stop.
Most of the time Narcissists are mirroring our emotions so as empaths all we are seeing is a reflection of our empathetic qualities even though they lack empathy it seems real.
Frankenstein’s monster wanted to be loved but he was rejected by humanity for the form that was thrust upon him by his creator.
And I suppose I felt pity for The Narcissist in a similar manner.
I thought that it wasn’t his fault that the people who were meant to care for him and protect him ended up hurting him.
I thought if I could show him love then perhaps he would develop those deeper emotions that he lacked.
I did sense his envy, jealousy and rage.
I knew when he was omnipotent or boastful because he felt worthless and hollow.
People who need to feel superior do so because they are weak and helpless.
People who hurt have been hurt.
Others do not need to dominate and exert their superiority because they know love and have humanity in their hearts.
He hates because he feels unloved and I tried to show him how much I loved him even more.
I wanted to try and help him feel loved.
As an Empath I try to find the good and bring out the good in everyone.
Narcissists use the empathetic qualities of their targets such as trust, forgiveness and morality to manipulate with pity ploys.
I would get these gut feelings but my desire to know the truth and to reach out to him outweighed the risks which probably was my downfall.
It’s not as if Empaths are psychics but rather we sense an emotion and seek to understand the pain behind it.
He knew I had empathy for him and probably sensed that I wanted to help him.
He would show me what I wanted to see rather than what was, a chasm, a void and a black hole.
He once said You could see the beauty in my darkness.
I realised that the beauty in his darkness was a mere reflection of my empathy.
He didn’t want to change so no matter how hard I tried it would lead to the same result.
And I wasn’t going to let him destroy my life so he could feel superior.