I Survived That Horrific Storm!!
I used to wake up in the morning, shower, do my hair, wear my makeup even when knowing that the tears will wash it away before work, puts on my smile and walks out the door.
I looked to the outside world as though I had everything under control.
Nobody ever knew that I was hurting because I was so good at hiding it.
Truth is, it used to take me 45 minutes to get out of bed each morning.
I averaged about 4 hours of sleep between checking my phone every hour, crying, thinking and wondering if things would ever change.
I only wore makeup to hide the hideous bags under my eyes from drowning my sorrows in all my tears every night.
I was broken inside.
And why wouldn’t I be?
I wasted so much time on one man for him to be exactly what everyone said he would be.
I felt stupid, naive, hurt and worthless.
Every memory raced through my head every time I had a minute to think.
Every time he said he wanted me.
Every time he promised he wouldn’t leave.
Every text, every call and every little detail.
Right down to how he would smile and stare at me when he thought I didn’t notice.
He said he cared about me.
But he hasn’t a clue how to do that.
When he decided to make me feel like I wasn’t good enough for him was when I gave up the world.
Those like me fall hard but only for the one we think is going to be the one we spend our eternity with.
When I fall in love, I give everything I have.
Yet, after all this time he was just playing with my heart.
After everything he put me through, he just left without an explanation because he didn’t need me anymore.
He made me believe that I was truly the one for him then threw me away like I never mattered at all.
At the time I felt like I will never be good enough.
I felt like my whole world has come to an end.
At that point, I was hoping and praying to be the Tin Man without a heart because who on earth wants to feel this way?!
He was just A Narcissist.
He lost the world.
He lost someone who looked past every flaw when there were plenty, every tear he caused and every sleepless night.
He lost the one who would love him through everything.
Then I found myself waking up and he isn’t the first thing on my mind.
I genuinely smiled and I managed to move on.
As for him, well he will wonder what happened to the one he broke so hard and shattered her heart to pieces because I will never look back again.