I Will Be Fine Without You.
It has been months since we have seen each other but years since we have last spoken.
I still think about you often multiple times to be exact.
I miss you immensely but I know this is for the best.
It is painful right now because the wound is fresh but with each passing day I’m learning to live without you.
I’m grateful for this because loving someone you can’t be with is agonising and tiresome.
I have struggled over the past year to express how I am feeling.
Verbalising my emotions is not possible because I am too distraught with heartache to communicate clearly.
I decided a letter would be the best outlet for my thoughts as I find it easier to formulate my words onto a piece of paper.
We met when I was young and vulnerable.
I was fragile and naïve.
I truly thought I found the love of my life in you.
You were everything I could have dreamt of, the exact kind of man I wanted in my life.
You were 17 years older than me, smart, handsome and caring.
Having never met a man like you, I was instantly smitten.
It appeared those feelings were well received and reciprocated.
We grew a bit closer and learnt as much as we could about one another, our hopes, our dreams and our fears.
You were the deepest and strongest love I have ever experienced.
You told me I was beautiful, wonderful, smart and loved.
You taught me to believe in who I am and you pushed me to be the best possible version of myself.
I was always striving to make you proud.
You instilled hope in me that this was going to last forever and that we were meant for each other in every way.
Falling in love with you made my once broken heart believe in true love and soulmates again.
I can’t possibly put into words how it feels to have you shatter those hopes and dreams and rip my heart into pieces.
It is soul crushing and heart wrenching to know that our part in each other’s lives has come to an end.
The hardest part is that I now have to envision a future with someone else.
But please don’t worry for I will be fine.
My vision for the future along with my hopes and dreams have not changed.
The only modification is that you will no longer be a part of it.
Although this is a crushing reality it is one I will survive.
While I’m hurt, I’m not angry.
I loved you and I will never forget the memories and the lessons you have taught me.
You have helped shaping me into a stronger woman and for that I am eternally grateful.
I wish you nothing but the absolute best.
Maybe one day we will run into each other and with a grateful smile will shake hands.
Maybe then you will realise that you lost someone who loved you more than she loved herself.