If I Could Stretch Reality And Get A Sincere Apology From The Narcissist, This Is What I Would Want Him To Say ..
You have to understand how hard it is for us to even imagine such a scenario.
We have been Victims of the most unimaginably cruel and abusive person ever.
Somebody that claimed to love us took great pleasure in completely destroying us.
We were stripped of all our self respect and dignity and the person we once were is destroyed.
In the end something in us is forever broken.
We were emotionally, physically and spiritually bankrupt.
There was nothing left of us.
So receiving a letter or some words on paper would never be enough.
Talk is cheap when it comes to A Narcissist.
His words means absolutely nothing because more often than not it is lies.
He will say anything.
For me, the only thing that could possibly provide me comfort is true remorse.
If he can ever truly feel remorseful for anything he has done in his life.
I‘m not talking about feeling bad or being sorry.
True remorse is intensely personal.
It is coming to terms with the fact that his actions have hurt another person.
He wants to do everything possible to make it right.
So if there was anything that could help me heal faster, it would be The Narcissist I once loved feeling true remorse.
It would be him taking full responsibility for his actions without deflecting.
It would be him coming clean about all the things I was suspicious or had questions about during the time we were together.
And it would be him asking for my forgiveness.
But the most healing thing would never come from The Narcissist.
It has to come from within me.
It would be me watching all this unfold in front of my eyes and no longer feeling angry and sad.
That’s the day I will know that I totally healed.
Still from time to time I daydream about him acknowledging all the harm he has done without excuses and also him telling me what restitution he was planning to make.
I would like him to look me in the eye and say that he gets it.
That he knows how awful he made me feel,
How he raped my soul and attempted to murder it and was almost successful.
That he wants to help me rebuild it and that he wants to support me in the pursuit of my dreams instead of tearing me down and crushing my hope, confidence and ambition.
That he won’t let anyone hurt me if he can help it.
I want him to tell me that he respects me and that I’m worth the effort.
Of all the things he has done to me, he now sees that the way he keeps revising history has done the worst damage to me.
It’s behind most of his other effective abuses: Denial, Projection, Deflection and especially Smearing me to other people.
That he knows this helped to confuse me to the point of despair and put me into a wildly successful trauma bond and that he apologises for that.