Is It Possible For A Narcissist To Change His Behaviour In A Genuine Sense?!

Actions speak far greater than words.

Words are cheap.
Words can have multiple meanings and interpretations.

A Narcissist will manipulate language and use grandiose phrases and wording.

Words require little thought and even smaller action.

The key is that fundamental evidence of proof lays in the action of change and this can only be considered as authentic when consistently demonstrated over time.

His words must build you up and his actions must support this.

His actions should support you and make you feel valued.

His actions need to be selfless as love is.

In doing this not only is romance rekindled but more so that romance is sustained.

Don’t only hear his words but also look to and focus on his actions.

I asked myself this question for God knows how long.

This question seems to be on an endless haunting loop in our mind thanks to the trauma bonding, cognitive dissonance and grief of losing someone we truly loved.

Would he have truly changed?
Did I give up too early?
Would he have been willing to change?
What if he is totally normal now?
What if I lost my last best hope for a relationship and he truly changed?

I don’t like to say that someone would never change because I believe that there is always the possibility for personal transformation.

However this doesn’t mean that everyone elects to undertake the necessary work to effect a transformation.

Regarding Narcissists and whether he would change his behaviour in a genuine sense, it is important to evaluate the factors involved that would all need to authentically change.

Admitting that change is necessary.
The desire and commitment to undertake the long term and intense therapy to change.

The deeply rooted, pathological and all pervasive personality disorder with entrenched and very powerful ego defence mechanisms.

A life long false self upon which The Narcissist is entirely dependent to navigate himself through the world, dichotomous thinking and splitting a massive sense of entitlement.

Moreover The Narcissist would have to develop empathy and the ability to regulate his emotions appropriately.

Give up the abusive, manipulative and exploitative behaviours that he has utilised for decades.

Another thing to consider is that The Narcissist doesn’t have anything inside upon which to build a normal and emotionally stable sense of self.

The Narcissist has a deeply shattered and wounded core and a false self construct.

There are no internal healthy reference points for behaviour that The Narcissist can work with.

Change is difficult for anyone.
It is difficult just to change day to day habits and sustain the change.

This provides an idea of how monumental the difficulties are for A Narcissist to authentically change his whole personality and how he relates to everyone and how he processes emotions.

More importantly most Narcissist don’t want to make the required effort and only a few will seek therapy.

The Majority don’t want to change and are happy destroying innocent lives.

They can and are exceptional in being seen to change for the better but in reality this is only about control and manipulation.

Narcissists have a full range of extremely skilled tactics and strategies to use on people to get what they want.

The Poor Me routine is one of their Top Favourites.

They can’t change nor want to!
Every kind and gesture has a bad motive behind it.

2 Comments

  • The belief and hope that they can change is what makes victims of narcissistic abuse stay with their tormentor. They appear so genuine but they are not. Change is only temporary in order for them to get what they want.

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