Is It So Hard To Win Against Narcissists?
I don’t believe that.
I think it seems that way because Narcissists feed off of drama and complexity.
If you take away the drama and complexity, you are left with simplicity, and simplicity is always guided by truth.
The world and people are unfortunately filled with drama and complexity of all sorts, which is why it seems like Narcissists always win.
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction Ernst F. Schumacher
Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify Henry David Thoreau
If you don’t offer any drama to a Narcissist, he literally will starve at your table and will move on to another table that serves drama.
Think of the Narcissist’s games like this,
Boundaries, there is never any good reason for testing a person’s boundaries only ever bad reasons.
So if someone tests your boundaries, it is always a bad thing.
No need to overcomplicate it, follow your gut instinct when it says that your boundaries should not be tested.
Communication, all of the stonewalling and gas lighting that is involved.
If someone is so difficult to talk to, if it is so hard to express yourself to this person then maybe talk to someone else!
Life is short and you only have limited hours of talking to express yourself to people.
Some will understand you and some won’t.
Those with personality disorders can’t even understand themselves, let alone understand you so why waste your time trying to do the impossible?
Even the grey rock method of dealing with a Narcissist when no contact is not an option is basically just a keep things simple method of not giving the Narcissist any response, neither positive or negative.
Literally starving him at your table so he will leave.
Narcissists are very pathological and predictable people, they are weak, cowardly people who have to construct delusional masks and make the world believe it because they are afraid of their own shadow.
If an Olympic medalist only won his medals because he was cheating, he would be stripped of his medals.
He wouldn’t be seen as winner or champion but as cheat, liar and a fraud.
I would also say that his whole game falls apart when you finally accept that he is not a good person.
That sounds really simplistic because people really go through the wringer with Narcissists.
But just under the surface even through all the cruelty and the terrible behaviour, most ‘victims’ will cling on to the belief that there is a decent person under there.
To get past that, you have to admit to yourself that you have been conned.
You have to admit that your own judgement was terrible and you have to admit that you have got some flaws to deal with.
But the second you accept that they are actually just a scumbag con artists, the whole house of cards comes collapsing down.
They never win another one from that point on, not even a round.
Because they are not actually very good at the games they play and the only power they had is the power you gave them.
Yes they can smear you, yes they can con other people.
But from that very moment, they never get you again.
If they do, then you still have some hope inside you and you still believe that you can get back to period of just ‘work through’ all these small problems.
So you don’t have to win against the Narcissist at all.
You have to win the fight that is going on with yourself.
Once the hope dies, so does the Narcissist.
Because Narcissists were building an army and strategy, and all you have got is minutemen and gut instinct.
It IS easy to win against Narcissists.
It requires a great deal of energy as opposed to strategy, and you have to understand that the terms of that victory are not yours, but theirs.
What I mean is, other people are maligned against you, and your reputation takes a beating.Cool.
Now, you stand there and look at your watch.
Maybe do it for six months, maybe even a year.
The Narcissist will spin through people.
You will remain consistent.
IF YOU ARE STILL IN CONTACT WITH ANY OF THE SOCIAL CIRCLE WHEN IT IS ALL SAID AND DONE, you have won.
In this game, you got all the checkers which initially were in the Narcissist possession.
Those people, shocked and angered by what they have seen angered at having been duped and manipulated.
Narcissists owns people short term, but you be good to them and you will own them forever.
Those people will speak highly of you and tell fascinating stories on your behalf.
So, when you get involved with that fight, and you want to move the immovable object, that won’t happen.
But if you remain consistent, kind, and give people their space, the Narcissist will shoot him self in the foot by using and then dropping people.
You are basically going to beat them with geology.
Consistent repetition, whether they can’t or won’t do that, doesn’t matter.
You can and you will.
It never fails.
It never, ever fails.
Long as you are still somehow tangentially related to the people who were triangulated against you, and provided those people aren’t bad themselves, they are going to come back to you after the Narcissist discards them.
And that’s how it’s done.
It doesn’t necessarily require any effort on your part.
“I knew someone who committed suicide in large part from the unintelligible pain of living with a Narcissist. He didn’t even understand, and boy did she play the floor at his funeral, while literally everyone else in the room gagged and avoided her”.
You can be dead and still beat the Narcissist.