Is Quitting On The Narcissist You Promised To Love Unconditionally Considered As Inhumane?!
I remember asking myself this question everyday and to be completely honest sometimes I still do now.
Can you help your Narcissistic Mate by sticking by them?
The reality is that it’s naive and pointless to believe that you are helping The Narcissist by sticking by them.
All that is likely to accomplish is to get you mistreated.
The only known fix for Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a long therapy with a therapist who is experienced in the treatment of NPD.
It’s hard enough for trained professionals who are being paid to help a person with NPD.
It’s a very complex and difficult therapy.
Loved ones who just want to be helpful have no chance at all of actually creating any sort of permanent change.
Are Narcissists unable to change?
No ,, they can change with appropriate therapy and lots of effort.
If they are unwilling to work on their issues and just want to continue to treat you and other people as property or take advantage of you then you don’t owe them the opportunity to do that to you.
What if you promised to love them no matter what?
Well, you need to reevaluate that promise in light of their inability to love you.
Narcissists don’t generally love anyone very deeply, past the excitement of the initial courtship and idealisation phase.
Your idea of love and their idea of love are likely to be quite different.
Most people who truly love someone are willing to make sacrifices in order to make the person they love happy.
People with NPD expect the opposite:
“I love you” from The Narcissist’s point of view means you have something they want right now and you should give it to them even if they give you nothing in return.
Does unconditional love cure NPD?
Not in my experience.
I have never met anyone with NPD who significantly changed because their partner loved them unconditionally.
The reality is that trying to cure A Narcissist by showing them unconditional love is a waste of time.
They will just take advantage of your generosity and empathy.
To be blunt, they will use and abuse you.
You will do better by setting boundaries and not allowing yourself to be mistreated.
You will get further by setting reasonable boundaries and defending them.
The Narcissist that I know will take whatever you give him and not give you anything of equal value back in return.
Narcissists will continue to take as long as you have anything that they want and are willing to keep giving it to them.
Any promises of undying love and support that you made to The Narcissist in your life were based on the misconception that something worthwhile would be the result.
You naively thought that you were involved with a person who wanted to be a better human being and that all they lacked was someone who could give them the unconditional love and acceptance they didn’t get in childhood.
The reality is that while people with NPD may have many desirable traits, being able to change their ways and care about other human beings in response to being loved is not one of those traits.