It’s Difficult To Understand The Signs And Symptoms.
Unless experienced first hand, the trauma and resulting symptoms of the emotional abuse are very difficult to understand.
It is actually quite amazing how the body holds the memory of the trauma.
The fact remains however the resilience of the human spirit is quite astounding.
Self awareness, commitment and belief that healing is possible.
Conscious action and heartfelt compassion for ourselves can lead us beyond the limits of the past.
Some of the indicators that can emerge from the body are:
• Tears that quietly fall down the face.
• The constant tremble in a hand.
• The teeth grinding.
• The lack of restful sleep ,, not the sleep that comes from numbing ourselves.
• The body aches, the neck pain, the stomach pain, the back pain ,, the pain that just won’t go away.
• Sloth like lethargy.
Emotional Indicators are:
• Scattered thoughts.
• Relentless judging of ourselves and a sense of self betrayal.
• Fear on many levels.
• Over the top anxiety.
• Lack of trust.
• Seeing Narcissists everywhere.
• Negative spiralling and catastrophe spinning thinking that the worst is going to happen.
• Limited sense of self.
• Lack of boundaries.
I can attest to the fact that it is possible to change and shift our old patterns and it is possible to trust again.
This is not an exhaustive list by any means.
However you can see just how damaging the abuse can be.
The effects can last for quite some time and again it depends on the individual and how they are handling the aftermath.
I believe that the ones who heal the most are the ones who make a conscious effort each day to keep moving forward no matter what.
You have to set your face as stone so to speak and not look back.
There is nothing for you there, only a whitewashed tomb full of dead man’s bones.
Another symptom which hasn’t been mentioned is the Flashbacks.
Extremely vivid flashbacks and an associated deep pain that comes from reliving the abuse scenarios over and over again.
Flashbacks are constant and most notable direct result of trauma.
Flashbacks most often trigger feelings of anxiety, guilt, hopelessness, depression and inadequacy.
Flashbacks remain the most difficult part of my survival.
I carry it around with me and there is nothing I can do about getting rid of it.
I now loathe my memories so much.
I wish I could forget everything.
I just hope it becomes less vivid each day.