Let Go Of The Past!
If you want small changes in your life, work on your attitude.
But if you want big and primary change, work on your paradigm. Stephen Covey
When it comes looking back upon our lives, it is not about the attitude that we have that allows us to transform how we view it.
We frame everything with belief.
Belief about ourselves, other people and the world around us.
No matter how much we change our attitude, if the negative belief remains, we will feel as though there is no escape.
There is one thing that is invaluable for moving on many people find it hard to accept.
One thing that society has largely turned it’s back on but whose value never diminishes.
With it we are able to accept and let go of what happened.
Without it we will continue to find ourselves in a place of victimisation.
What am I talking about?
With every person we meet, we hold a version of them inside of ourselves.
We hold how they made us feel and what impact they had on us.
Much of our negative energy from the past stems from the memories of people that had a profoundly damaging effect on us.
When we hold onto this we never let that damage go.
Imagine it to be like a cut that never heals.
So why do we hold onto it?
Because we feel justified.
We feel that by holding a grudge and leaving them unforgiven, we are paying them back for the way they hurt us.
Who is the one who is really getting hurt though?
The person who is the subject of our hatred, resentment, anger and sadness is not the one receiving it.
We are the ones creating it.
We are the ones receiving it.
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Buddha
What many people fail to realise is that forgiveness is not a matter of justifying what they did.
It is a matter of forgiving the memory inside us.
A matter of forgiving the effect they had on us and allowing it to fade out.
I can’t claim to know the people who you hold grudges against and what kind of people they are but I can tell you this,
Everyone does what they perceive to be the best actions available to them.
From your perspective he did something terrible.
But inside of him, he was only doing the best that he could based on his personal life experiences.
The same way you are doing the best based on your personal life experiences.
Don’t resent him.
Seek to understand him.
Feel sorry for him.
Sorry for what happened in his life that brought him to where he is.
No one comes into the world with malicious intent burning within.
All behaviours are learnt as are all the beliefs guiding it.
There is a forgiveness process called Ho’o Pono Pono.
It is an Ancient Hawaiian form of forgiveness that means To make very right.
It has only four phrases,
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love You.
We have the power inside of us to be the force for positive change.
This whole process is very brief.
A few minutes to less than a minute.
It is better than years of therapy.
By changing how we view the other person, we change how it impacts us.
By changing how it impact us, we change how we look at the world.
By changing how we look at the world, we change how we feel and behave about those around us.
By changing how we feel and behave towards those around us, we brighten the beautiful shimmer within us.
Letting go of the past is not difficult if we can forgive and learn from it.
We now have the knowledge of the existence of a very powerful tool.
It is up to us to decide whether to use it or not.
A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn. Unknown
We are humans and we are bound by emotions.
But at the same time we are not being fair to ourselves or anyone around us when we carry the darkness of our past to the present and the future.
The effort to make an amend to our thoughts is inevitable.
We can’t be anchored or bound by our past’s unpleasant memories.
• Break Free.
We are stronger than what we imagine ourselves to be.
Understand that it is absolutely normal in this world for bad experiences to happen.
No One Escapes From It.
It happens to people at different points in their lives.
What Has Happened Has Happened.
We still haven’t invented a time machine to go back to our past and set things right.
Try focusing more on productive and happier thoughts and don’t ever let the bad memories define you.
• Be Optimistic.
God has planned better things for us and HE just want to see how strong we would come out.
Engage in activities that will cheer us up.
Plan something different everyday.
We will always have something to look forward to in life.
Devote time for YOGA, sports or any physical activity.
It rejuvenates our mind, body and soul
Travel And Go Wherever.
We get to make some good friends and gain experiences which otherwise we wouldn’t have
• Embrace Ourselves.
We are unique.
Embrace the fact that we are amazing in our own ways.
• Have Hope.
Why think about yesterday when tomorrow is going to be so much better.
• Learn To Let Go.
It hurts to let go but it will hurt more to hold on to the past forever.