Love Is Friendship Set On Fire!!
You love me you say.
Then I asked Why?
If you can’t come up with at least five or so reasons to that question easily then you don’t love me but you love the idea of me.
Maybe you like how I look or how I make you feel and the attention I’m giving you.
But that’s not about me at all, it’s about you.
People are largely mistaken on what true love really is.
They think it’s only a feeling but it’s not.
They think it’s butterflies and obsessively thinking about that person all day long which is wrong because that’s infatuation.
It’s fun but it’s not love.
Love is pain and sacrifice but it’s also the most beautiful thing in the world when it’s real and reciprocated.
Imagine someone knowing all about you.
The things you are embarrassed about and don’t want anyone to know.
Imagine messing up and even letting that person down but then he forgives you.
He is wise enough to read between the lines of the situation and he doesn’t judge you for it.
He loves you and he even notice the small things like that scar above your eye which you hate it but he thinks it’s cute.
The way your eyes dart around the room when you are nervous.
The way you tear up when you are at a funeral.
He loves your heart and your compassion.
He knows you and that’s love.
It’s being fully known and accepted.
You don’t have to be perfect for the person that loves you.
He wouldn’t even like you perfect because your laws makes you unique and gives him the space and permission to be just as human.
Who wants someone who only “loves” them because of how they look?
What about the way I laugh or the way I play with my hair when I’m nervous?
The way my eyes light up when I feel super happy?
You can’t love me if you don’t know me.
Some know there’s more there but they don’t care to look or care to take the time.
I’m not meaning to sound so high and mighty but it’s a real problem.
I’m sure I’m not the only one.
I’m sure there are many men and women who only care about status, how their partner looks and what they can do for them.
Self-Serving love is not love ,, it’s selfishness.
Its a tripod of passion, intimacy and commitment.
You have to have all three for it to be lasting love.
Infatuation is so strong that people often mistake it for love.
Nothing turns me off more than selfishness.
I can’t deal with selfish men.
I want a loving, giving, sweet and confident man.
I know no one is perfect but some people are more selfish than others.
I would hope to find someone who tips the scale in the right direction.
We are all selfish on a certain level.
But a good person will try and give of their time, their efforts and energy to the people they care about.
When someone loves you, he loves all of you.
He sees where you are weak and he understands without judging.
He may not like it but he is patient with you.
He trusts you, he trusts in the better side of you and believes in who you are.
When he is upset with you, he talks to you about it in a calm way without shaming.
He cares more about the relationship than he does about being right.
When you love someone it’s not so difficult to accept his flaws because it just comes naturally.
You don’t always feel love.
Sometimes you have to wake up to that person who has disappointed you and let you down in a big way perhaps.
In that moment, do you think you are going to feel so loving?
You choose to be kind.
You choose to be sweet to him.
You may kiss him on the forehead and tell him good morning.
Have breakfast with him.
You put yourself aside.
You give despite your hurt feelings.
It touches him and then he will most likely feel bad for being a brat to you and apologise and you both can go about your day loving each other.
Selflessness is a precursor to love.
You bring him coffee when he is sad.
You surprise him with little gifts that are unique to him.
The best relationships have a perfectly split 50/50 of give and take.
It’s called codependent when one person is doing all the giving and there are so many relationships like that.
No one will ever be 50/50 all of the time but that’s the aim.
Does he really know you?
Would he scratch his head if someone asked him why he loves you?
Life is too short to give your heart to someone who doesn’t fully appreciate you.
There’s also no timeline for love and it’s a different path for everyone.
Some people don’t want to see it.
Maybe they aren’t ready to see it.
Some people also self-sabotage things out of fear.
Some people just don’t get it.
They are not yet quite self-actualised.
They don’t understand why they do the things they do.
They have yet to see what’s valuable or important in a partner.
They are living for the moment kind of a feeling.
When you do the work of loving someone and the sacrifice of giving of yourself, the good feelings naturally follow.
If you reap the work, you will sow the reward.
Love is sacrifice.
Feelings come and go but Real Love stays.
It’s a verb, an action, a choice and a sacrifice.
It’s an investment.
If you show someone love, that doesn’t mean that he’s going to love you back or that he should either.
Wait for someone who gets you first and then decide whether or not you feel the same.
Unrequited Love is painful.
Wait to love someone who loves you back. Someone who can appreciate and understand all of you.
There are all kinds of people in the world and we are all very different.
Don’t assume someone thinks the way you do.
When you know what you are looking for, it’s easier to find it and it’s also easier to dismiss those who don’t embody the traits you appreciate.
When you don’t know what you want, you are embarking down a road of confusion and sidetracks.
I read this French proverb once and it really stuck with me:
“Love, like bread, has to be made over.
It has to be made new”
This suggests that love is hard work and it’s not just a feeling.
You do the work first then you reap the benefit of the feelings and it lasts.
Anything else is infatuation that will ultimately fade and usually within a few months.
Love at first sight is nothing more than infatuation.
You like how someone looks and you are attracted to him.
There’s nothing wrong with that but looks fade.
Newsflash; we are all going to die one day.
Why not wait for someone with a heart of gold who will bless your life?
Can you laugh with him?
Play with him?
Can you be vulnerable and cry on his shoulder when you feel like the whole world is against you?
Those things bury seeds deep in your heart and the love grows.
It may last forever.
“Love is friendship set on fire” ~French Proverb~