Breakups are always hard because you have to mourn someone you loved and lost.
But time heals everything and eventually you will meet someone else.
Eventually that former lover will become a distant memory.
But this kind of breakup is not the same.
This breakup happened with a person who no matter what you do you can’t get over him.
Not a day goes by that this person doesn’t cross your mind and your heart feels heavy.
It is usually because the relationship is unfinished.
But you can’t tell yourself that and you certainly can’t believe it because it will literally drive you mad.
Instead you tell yourself you are fine and that you can move on.
You get pretty close to fooling yourself until you hear that song, see that photo, yearn to share something or wake up thinking about him.
Then you are right back to square one.
There are so many people who come in and out of your life.
Some you date briefly and never give a second thought to and some you like a lot but it doesn’t work out.
Then there are some who crush you and take months to get over.
But this is different, this is the feeling you get when you know something has to end right now but it isn’t over for good.
You can’t just say I wish you the best and move on.
You can’t end that chapter because you know you can’t quit him.
Not yet and maybe not ever.
Then you are thrust into what I like to call love purgatory.
It is a place where you know who the love of your life is but you aren’t currently together.
Maybe you dated briefly, maybe you had a full fledged relationship or maybe you have never been officially together.
The connection with this person is so real, strong and magnetic that you are constantly pulled back.
The relationship hasn’t reached it’s potential yet so it can’t be over.
In fact this might be the person you end up with.
But you aren’t together now because of timing, schedules, missed opportunities or whatever reason it is.
So you sit in love purgatory just biding your time until you can both find each other again.
You don’t just sit around listening to sad music and waiting.
You find distractions and push away what you feel in order to be a sane enough human being to function in life.
You meet other amazingly beautiful people with whom you want to work things out but it never happens because something is off.
She is not Rachel is the famous line from Friends.
Because when you know that this connection comes around once, maybe twice in a lifetime.
Your friends thinks you are crazy and you yourself feel crazy too.
Why in a world full of billions of other people are you allowing one to keep holding you back.
You can’t answer that question.
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
Some people meet someone, date, fall in love and live happily ever after but others are not quite so fortunate.
Some of us have to fight, breakup, makeup and go through hell with each other until it finally works out.
Maybe the problem is again, timing.
Maybe you have to learn and grow more before you can settle down.
Whatever the problem is, you know that eventually the two of you will find each other again.
Because like Ross and Rachel .. Carrie and Mr. Big .. Allie and Noah and all the great love stories from movies and television,
there are just some people who you can’t let go of and never will.
But until you find your way back to each other you miserably sit in love purgatory hoping to find someone or something to keep you occupied long enough to not self destruct.
Some people will be outraged about this and think This is not how love is supposed to be or If you were mature about love it wouldn’t be this hard.
But I beg to disagree and would counter with How do you know?
Just because things were easy for you doesn’t mean it will be easier for everyone else.
People are very complicated and love is sometimes messy.
If it is not that way for you, it doesn’t mean that it’s wrong.
It just means your path was easier.