Moving On ..
For some reason the less you think about moving on the easier it becomes.
The less you stress about it the more effortlessly it will happen.
It starts with little things like realising that a whole day has passed and he didn’t cross your mind because you were more invested in yourself and your emotional wellbeing.
It starts with not caring about whether or not you will see him or whether or not he will reach out to you.
It starts with realising that you are not as invested as you used to be and it doesn’t feel like losing.
It starts with you being ok with not having him in your life anymore.
It starts with you imagining a future without him and it doesn’t make you feel sad.
It starts with you finding joy and comfort with other people who treat you the way you want to be treated.
It starts with your mind when it slowly stops thinking about him and stops wondering how he is doing.
It starts with your heart when it doesn’t skip a beat when he is around.
When it slowly starts closing off because it doesn’t feel safe to proceed.
It doesn’t feel safe about moving forward.
When it slowly starts feeling better about feeling less.
It starts with you not wanting to send that text message or tell him that you miss him.
It starts with you starting not to miss him the longer you go without seeing him.
It starts with you questioning your own feelings, doubting if you truly ever loved him or if it was all in your head.
It starts with feeling anxious instead of feeling safe.
It starts with wanting to fall back instead of wanting to try harder.
It starts with craving distance more than intimacy.
It starts with being indifferent more than passionate.
It starts with remembering every red flag instead of ignoring it.
It starts with a nudge telling you that you are settling when you know you deserve more.
It starts with asking God for clarity then you find yourself slowly walking away.
It starts with an inkling that he is not meant to be yours and it ends with a decision that he is not the one for you.
It starts with a few Maybes and ends with a clear NO.