My Biggest Challenge!
It was coming to the conclusion that I would not be able to make it work.
That the man I had fallen for like no other was lost to me for good.
No more second chances and no hope.
At the time of when it was ended I had no idea why he had changed so much.
Where did the man I loved had gone and sometimes I still wonder if perhaps he had been right and I had been the one with the problem.
Until I was able to go no contact and then that aha moment of awakening that I began to realise that I had been duped all along.
Next came the loss of the fake future he had promised and the loss of our shared dreams.
Realising that it was a lie was very hard to comprehend.
Realising and accepting that the Love of your life was just a fraud was killing me.
Then enduring to go away and stay away.
To get The Narcissist out of my mind was by far the hardest thing I have ever done.
Always wondering if there was anything I could have done to be the one The Narcissist wanted.
I never understood why The Narcissist didn’t love me or had feelings for me because I do have feelings, I do love and I do get hurt but he doesn’t.
Maybe the pain will one day be gone but the sad part is that I will always feel something for him because I truly did.
He is a parasite.
I know that he is not done with me.
He still needs more of whatever he was getting from me.
But the glory of self respect, self love and the much gained strength that came from this experience was my reward.
The glory of no longer having to twist into a pretzel to please him.
It was all worth it and I‘m very thankful to have come out of this experience stronger.
I believe that tomorrow will be better and every day after.