Narcissists And Guilt!
Do Narcissists ever feel guilty?
In short NO.
The reason is that at the core of Narcissistic personality disorder lies denial, which makes Narcissists never feel guilty.
Instead they make others around them feel guilty.
Denial was first described by The Austrian Psychiatrist Sigmund Freud as a Psychological Defence Mechanist, which practically means that it is a way to cope with the anxiety of dealing with situations in everyday’s life.
The American Psychologist George Eman Vaillant further expanded Freud’s theory and classified denial as a Primitive Defence Mechanism.
When someone is in denial they reject happenings which are too uncomfortable for them and instead insist that they are not true despite overwhelming evidence.
More simply stated, denial is lying to oneself and believing the lie.
Narcissists constantly deny to themselves that they are at fault so that they don’t feel guilty.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder would practically not exist without it.
In practice, this denial can be seen in the outward behaviour of A Narcissist in the way they present the story of events during their communication with others.
First of all Narcissists will always make everything personal to someone.
However they will do this selectively,
• They will constantly present the story of events so that it appears that they are associated with only the good that happened, adding many positive looking things about themselves on top.
• At the same time they will not talk about anything positive which anyone else has done in front of them.
However they may present those events in a way which somehow highlights their own personal involvement or relevance.
• For anything which appears negative, they will instantly associate it to others or even make up faults to others on top.
To cover up for the way they twist the story of events, when confronted, they usually say that the others do not remember, blame them or simply accuse them of being crazy.
The effect of this is that they make every situation appear as if they are always the good ones or the victims and others are to blame and effectively they will make others feel guilty to make their own guilt disappear.