Narcissists Are Emotionless Creatures.
When they are hot, they are hot ,, And when they are not, they are not.
What this quote means is that Narcissists are very extreme in their affections and their devotion is both shallow and unstable.
In the beginning of the relationship, you are highly desirable.
They are so busy chasing you and trying to win you over that they are not looking for flaws.
They are not only fooling you, but also fooling themselves.
Many truly believe that this time, finally, they have found the perfect mate.
• Narcissists Lack The Whole Object Of Relations.
This means they can only see you as perfect or irredeemably flawed.
As they win you over they begin to notice the normal flaws that you have.
You are like a hunting trophy that they have bagged and mounted on their wall.
Mission is accomplished and the satisfaction they got from winning you over quickly dissipates.
• Narcissists Are Shallow.
Now they start to become restless and critical.
Very few people with Narcissistic Personal Disorder are able to sustain intimate relationships.
Unless something happens to rekindle their initial enthusiasm and the challenge of the chase, their feelings will cool towards you.
Unfortunately, no matter how much they told you they loved you and how many detailed plans they made with you, as their feelings diminish they conveniently have amnesia and start backing out away from you.
If you are at all normal and truly cared for them and believed their promises, you are likely to be left devastated by their ability to coldly discard you.
Why are they so cold to you?
The answer is because they no longer care about you at all.
If they contact you again, it is because they need an ego boost and they believe that you will supply it.
The most important thing to remember is that none of this is your fault.
You did not do anything wrong.
They are just bad at maintaining intimate relationships.
You could be the most wonderful person in the world and the relationship would still fail.
Narcissists are cold to you when they no longer want you because they have taken the relationship as far as they are capable of.
Most Narcissists repeat this hot and cold pattern over and over again with different people.
It is important to remember,
That the person you have seen during the discard phase is who they truly are, a coldhearted, mean, selfish and empty person without a soul.
The person you have seen during the love bombing phase is an act carefully put up to fool you and lure you in, so you can put your guard down and trust them, then they will slowly wrap their tentacles around you and feed off of you.
They feed on emotional responses from you, good or bad, it doesn’t matter.
During the love bombing phase they feed off your positive emotions like, love, happiness, admiration and respect.
During the discard phase they feed off of your negative emotions like, sadness, disappointment, dismay, bewilderment, anger and jealousy.
The more emotional you are, the more fuel you have to feed them and they LOVE it, because it make them feel POWERFUL.
They will manipulate you so you emotionally respond and give them the fuel they crave.
When you cry, they get a hit, when you are angry, they get another hit, when they know you are sad due to their coldness, they get another hit.
Each hit makes them feel powerful.
Then they will attempt to make you lose your mind by using their most cruel tactics.
Telling you one thing then completely denying that they never said it or you misunderstood them.
Narcissists lie to make you confused and doubt yourself, which allows them to get away with things.
The Narcissist will smile in your face but will tell others all kinds of lies, personal information and twist facts about you.
You may possibly have enemies you never even knew existed.
They may possibly flirt with your friends, family or even friends of their own to get a rise out of you and start a drama.
What the Narcissist is potentially feeling will be projected onto you.
They will accuse you of doing the most ridiculous things that don’t even make sense, like checking out a guy you weren’t even paying attention to or sleeping with people.
This is to put you off balance and put you on a defence.
Pay close attention to it even though they know you are not doing anything it deflects all the attention back on to you and not them.
This tactic is used to make you easier to control, they might want you to stay up all night with them or wake you up in the middle of the night just to tell you that they love you or had a horrible nightmare so they can’t sleep, slowly over time it will become a habit causing you sleep deprivation.
You will be exhausted as hell, possibly hallucinating, isolating yourself from others and this will make it easier for them to get you to go along with things you normally wouldn’t.
CONSTANT CRISIS SITUATIONS.
If you love something dearly put it away or don’t tell them at all because it will end up being broken, damaged or missing.
Nothing with a Narcissist is ever calm, if they sense the slightest bit that you will most certainly change, you will always be on the edge.
DAYS OF OUR LIVES.
When a Narcissist is in your life, describing it aa a roller coaster ride is an understatement.
Your screams and cries out for help will be not be heard.
It is the same stories you already heard, the same problems and the same drama.
Your reality will fade due to all the gaslighting, projection and lies.
You won’t recognise yourself anymore.
You will stop doing the things you love to please the Narcissist.
If you used to see your friends on regular basis that all will stop and it will be just you and the Narcissist.
You are no longer living, your are just existing.
“Like sands through an hour glass these are the days of our lives”
Time doesn’t stop or slow down.
Everyone’s time in this life is limited.
Your life passes like sands in an hour glass and once it is gone, it is gone and you can’t get it back.
Live your life to the fullest and don’t let it be dust in the wind.