Narcissists Usually Prefer Victims Who Won’t Speak Out About The Abuse!!
A Narcissist not only prefer Victims who won’t likely speak out but he counts on it.
He will go to great lengths to protect himself from just that possibility.
Early on he will plant seeds of protection.
Innuendos of how easily you get upset or can’t take a joke.
How you have misunderstood his words and his actions.
It was a lesson he learnt early in his childhood abuse cycle, not to give anyone a reason or way to hurt him.
Some of us are just waking up to those facts.
He had it from birth on to adulthood to deal with Abuse and learn a way to survive with it.
If he showed signs of weakness know that the abuse will only get worse.
The best way to suppress those emotions that made him appear weak was not to allow himself to experience it so he blocked it out of his psyche.
He constructed a paper macho mask with the tears of abuse and construction media composed of lessons learnt to prevent the abuses or at least lessen it.
He knew he was entitled to a better life and started demanding what he was entitled to.
It became the game he plays because under the mask is a scared child who believes that he is worthless.
That truth has to be hidden at all costs.
So the abuse he uses is hidden behind closed doors by whatever means needed to obtain what he wants.
He needs people who will ignore the slipped mask or hide it to please and protect him.
The codependent accepts abuse as a normal part of life.
The codependent chose the less abrasive way of dealing and coping with their abuse.
Codependents became the caregiver, the pleasers, the hard workers doing whatever is needed to keep the peace or lessen the abuse.
Codependents learnt early on that keeping the abuse hidden was tantamount to keeping the peace.
This liaison can go on for a very long time.
The empathetic person who gets sucked into the web will do almost anything she can in order not to hurt and to protect, help and fix The Narcissist she let into her life.
She will deny to herself and others what is going on or rationalise it back to whatever reasoning given to accept and explain the mistreatment.
This can go on for a long time.
Until The Narcissist demands more and better burning fuel.
Or The Victim gets so exhausted that she just can’t give anymore and try to leave.
Either way The Narcissist goes into full tilt damage control.
He counts on The Victim not to disclose at least for awhile and it usually happens that way.
The Victim will keep it quiet in an attempt to protect both of them.
The Victim is in a fog not knowing what to do floundering around for a foothold looking for help.
The Narcissist starts fertilising the seeds of misconception he had been dropping to elaborate on how good and understanding he had been.
How he tried to help but The Victim until she had gotten further from reality and acted crazier and more irrational.
He blame shifts projecting his actions onto The Victim.
People then shake their heads and pat The Narcissist’s shoulder.
He is the centre of attention and in control.
His mask is in place.
Then all that damage control pays off big time.
As the fog starts to clear and The Victim starts to realise that something isn’t right.
She reads a magazine article that gives her reasons and words to study.
She discovers how she was drawn into the web of deceit.
Now she wants to talk to people and tell them to beware.
She tries talking with friends and share with them only to start on a second round of abuse almost as devastating as what she had escaped.
Only less because it is fairly short lived.
The Victim will now self limit it to herself.
She will only listen to words like:
You are mixed up.
How can you expect me to believe that a nice kind and a thoughtful person could ever do anything like that?
He said you were losing it so maybe he was right and you really need help.
Last but not least pick yourself up and get on with your life and try to forget it.
People will keep listening to rumours and accusations spread by The Narcissist and his enablers.
Which is what The Narcissist has manipulated into happening.
He got what he was entitled to.
His mask is intact and his true face remains hidden from public view.
After a very short time the cycle of abuse will begin again as it always does.