Our Gut Feelings!
I had no idea that the person I was dealing with was a Narcissist.
I have never dealt with one and I didn’t know anything about that form of personality disorder.
What I did know is that at a very early stage, I observed certain behaviours and tendencies that spelled out DANGER, proceed with caution.
Although I couldn’t put in words what was not quite right, my intuition and my inner guide kept cautioning and guiding me.
I had no control over my intuition so it just kept urging me to take a step back, to question and to evaluate.
I kept dismissing this intuition, but as more time passed, I was gaining more real life experiences and eventually I started to dig deeper.
I had many un answered questions but I was not able to connect the dots because although my intuition and my inner voice became louder, I was still trying to silence it.
It is crucial to listen to your inner voice.
I started researching some of his behaviour patterns because it wasn’t at all normal.
When we are dealing with the Narcissist, he will gaslight us, attempt to distort our perception of reality and when he realises that he is loosing his influence on us, he will work harder to keep us in the dark by attempting to manipulate us into believing that his alternative version of reality is a way to go.
The more we fight with him trying to have a decent conversation, the more aggressive he will become trying to convert us into a puppet, so he can do whatever he wants.
We will know that something is wrong, we will know because we will feel as if we are losing our mind and that our soul is dying.
The mission of the Narcissist is to do just that, to take away our identity so we no longer know what is real and what is not.
We will notice at first that our strong gut feeling will start as a thought or an intuition, and as we go along that whisper will become louder, and if we didn’t start paying attention it will become a cry, then a roar until it becomes a battle.
We must acknowledge our intuition.
The Narcissist is a conman and what I learnt from interacting with him is to never trust anyone until they earn that trust.
After many long nights of researching the dark dungeons of the Internet, many of his traits were pointing to Narcissism but I still didn’t want to believe it.
One unexpected morning something shifted inside of me and suddenly I was able to connect the dots and answer each question I kept asking myself for so long.
I was able to escape this long dark tunnel and onto the light.
If only I could simply recognise that intuition earlier, I would have freed myself much sooner, but this long process of gaining that knowledge has to be through experience and not without a price.
Narcissists are manipulative, deceitful and the abuse they inflict is horrifying.
Their strength is in their ability to spot those of us who are damaged and fragile.
There is a common theme in the stories of those of us who found peace after enduring Narcissistic Abuse and learnt to love ourselves.
We learnt what it is like to be healthy.
No one ever signs up for the emotional traumatic and mental collapse that this kind of Abuse cause.
It is necessary to learn the characteristics and behaviours of Narcissism so we can relate it to our own experience.
Once we are confident that we have figured it out, we WILL know every confused moment we had come to mind as we are reading the definitions and other peoples’ experiences.
The focus needs to be put back on us, that is how we will get the confidence to leave, that is how we will shed all the deception and that is how we will start the journey of our healing.
We can spend the rest of our lives trying to change that person, expose that person or get revenge on that person, but none of this will heal the wounds that’s consuming us.
The BEST way to get revenge is to recover and through our recovery we will most likely lose the desire to get revenge because a Narcissist is a person who is incapable of being real.
Also Intuition, introspection, and emotional intelligence are Three qualities that are not in the Narcissist’s tool box.
So when we encounter a Narcissist, we will recognise that something is different.
We will notice that they behave differently.
They will exhibit a lack of empathy, they will put themselves before others and they will constantly contradict themselves.
Subconsciously, our intuition will tell us that something is NOT right.
However, we will neglect and disregard the signals and will try to convince ourselves that this person is somehow different.
We will be curious to understand this new exciting feelings.
Our body, on the other hand will be dredging through our repository of past experiences and will start looking into how to understand this subconscious conflict.
This introspection of analysing our past will put our body into sympathetic overload as we are receive mixed signals.
Typically, we will have hopes to find ourselves in a parasympathetic or a relaxed state with new stimulus, but, it is this internal confliction that will start to be cautious of the red flags we are seeing.
We will then begin to process this internal conflict.
It is now becoming increasingly difficult to neglect the signs.
Finally, we will use our emotional intelligence to put the puzzle pieces together and will realise that there is trouble based on previous experiences we have had.
Our intuition will suggest that impending danger is imminent.
If it is too good to be true then it probably isn’t true.
Narcissists aren’t genuine!