She Is The Unlucky One.
I’m sorry that you suffered.
I’m sorry that you are still suffering.
I’m sitting here and I know exactly the thoughts you are having.
That self doubt he planted in you.
Maybe it was already there.
Maybe that’s why he targeted you.
Not that you and I are some pathetic little things but there is definitely some things inside of us that needs to be soul searched or else we wouldn’t have stayed so long, believed so strongly, held on even as it destroyed our hearts, faith in love and psychological wellbeing.
He saw a wounded prey and he pounced because that is what A Narcissist is all about.
Narcissists are experts in reading people.
It’s just so easy for them.
So all I can say is first, I’m sorry.
You are searching for answers.
You are welcoming strangers inside of already battered psyche to see your insecurities.
You have made yourself so vulnerable.
You are willing to take the blame.
That’s why I don’t sense that you could be someone who wears a mask.
None of those are traits of a cold blooded, selfish and non empathetic person.
You aren’t the problem.
We are hard to handle sometimes.
I fought the gaslighting after I found him on numerous dating sites.
I feel sorry but I’m not sorry.
I did what I had to do to find the truth.
It killed me to see it in a way that I can’t expect anyone who hasn’t been involved with A Narcissist to ever fully understand.
It broke my heart in pieces and it destroyed my hope that I was truly loved by the man I loved so deeply.
I wish it had been just me.
I wish I had been the psycho he claimed I was accusing me of making up stupid stories he kept tried to make me believe.
And I was right.
I was right about it all.
It reminds me of the CSI stories where a rapist or a murderer was identified by the DNA underneath his dead victim’s fingernails or by the wounds on the perpetrator’s face.
He then fought back.
Do you blame him?
He tried to survive and that survival instinct exists inside of us.
If you fought back,
If you questioned him relentlessly.
If you yelled.
If you were untrusting and wanted to check his phone.
If you went outside your own sensibilities because you knew that something wasn’t right with this man then you found out that your love and your time had been stolen by a lousy Soul Sucker then you were right to do so.
Don’t feel like that’s a reason to blame yourself.
You had every right to stop The Abuse.
As for the new girl.
She really is in for a world of pain.
A Narcissist doesn’t change and unfortunately she will unmask him soon enough.
She is the unlucky one.
No doubt about it just like you were.
Now to get over this pain though promise yourself to never check up on him again.
No contact doesn’t mean simply not contacting or answering his attempts at contact ,, it means that you have to let it go.
Our curiosity and our hearts will beg for some form of contact but we must fight it!
I know that is the hard part and sometimes even still I feel like maybe if I had just done things differently we would still be together.
But I know too much now.
And when I feel sad or missing him I read strangers singing my song telling their own stories that I could swear were about me and him and I remember that Narcissism is Real.
It’s real and if you are here reading this then you know that too well.
He is who he is.
And he’s never going to change no matter how pretty his faked out photoshopped social media life looks.
Don’t allow him continue stealing your joy and your peace.
You deserve better than that and that’s why you have to let go of him.