Smoke And Mirrors Antics.
Everything a Narcissist or a Sociopath says or does is a trick of smoke and mirrors, a Narcissistic Ploy intended to distract us from the reality of what he is really up to.
If you pay careful attention instead of reacting to his behaviours, you can turn these ploys into your advantage.
How can you tell a Narcissist is lying?
Everything a Narcissist does and everything he says is a fabrication in some way, a sleight of hand, a devious magic trick used by the Narcissist to distract us from what is really going on.
These tricks are also used to manage down our expectations of the relationship so that we expect less and less and he gets away with more.
You may be familiar with the Narcissistic tactic of gaslighting where a Narcissist or Sociopath diminishes the truth of a victim’s own words to make her feel crazy or to convince her that she is overreacting or delusional.
You may be familiar with triangulation where the Narcissist uses passive aggressive means to make you feel jealous about every little thing.
Simply put, no matter what the victim is thinking, the Narcissist will tell her it is wrong, when the truth of the matter is that her intuition is ALWAYS spot-on.
You can easily turn the Narcissist’s ploys into your advantage.
If you want to know exactly what your Narcissist is up to, simply listen and observe:
• When a Narcissist partner is being nice, it’s typically because he has a devastating discard or at the very least a silent treatment planned for you in the very near future.
When a Narcissist can catch us off guard, he gets the most bang for his Narcissistic Buck.
It is no fun hurting his victim if she knows it is coming, so beware of Narcissists bearing niceties.
• Whenever a Narcissistic Partner accuses you of something, it is because that is exactly what he is up to at that moment in his life.
If you pay attention to this, you will see that it is a fool proof.
Oftentimes, we are too busy getting hysterical over a Narcissist’s ludicrous accusation to stop and and listen to exactly what he is saying.
And while a Narcissist will never admit to a wrongdoing, he will, in fact accuse you of what he happens to be doing.
Quietly consider every accusation as an admission and do your investigation from there.
• Whenever a Narcissist unexpectedly feigns sickness or throws a fit and stomps off in the middle of a heated conversation or attempts to otherwise distract you from the topic at hand, it is likely that you have just said something or alluded to something that he is guilty of.
His immediate behaviour is nothing more than a distraction reaction.
Keep this in mind for the next time it happens and remember what was the last thing you said?
When you are involved with someone with a Narcissist Personality, nothing and I mean nothing is as it seems and everything is intended to be a distraction from the real thing.
When you get that nagging feeling that something is very wrong behind the scenes, don’t doubt yourself or allow him to make you feel that you are being delusional.
When he starts creating Narcissistic Chaos and Turmoil, look beneath the actions to see the actual truth that he is hiding.
When it comes to the Narcissist, your first instincts will always be right.
Once you realise the smoke and mirrors antics for exactly what they are, you are well on your way to knowing exactly what this monster is up to during any given moment.
Turn his Narcissistic Ploys into your advantage.
Like children, Narcissists will always give themselves away.
In essence, a Narcissist will tell on himself by accusing you of what he is really doing behind your back.
The more you know what he is up to, the more likely you will be able to give up the need for closure and go no contact without falling apart from the get go.
You must learn to read between the Narcissistic lines.