Some Causes Of Why Things Always Go Wrong With Narcissists!!
You ultimately can’t get along with them and things are guaranteed to end badly.
Ultimately nobody can get along with them so don’t be so hard on yourself.
Nothing you do is causing the problem but they will continuously conceal it making you perpetually confused.
They Are Crazy Makers.
All the problems stem from their false conviction that everyone has no goodwill including you.
A Narcissist lives imprisoned in a dysfunctional mental world of bad faith and so he plays treacherous survival games with everyone.
They always feel unsafe and they do these things to soothe themselves.
They play treacherous survival games, indulge in all sorts of unhealthy fantasies and persecute others by seeking out lies that best soothe their specific insecurities.
They are also absolutely convinced that everything in life is a lie and everyone is an inveterate liar including you.
To the Narcissist there is no such thing as the truth, only your false convictions against theirs.
That is why they are so intolerant of different perspectives So they would rather believe their own lies than yours.
They get stuck in negative fantasies imagining all sorts of nasty things you will be doing to them and they can’t stop themselves.
It is like they are living in a horror movie.
They are constantly trying to defeat and outwit the monster in you to save themselves even if you have never exhibited any evidence of bad faith.
They have no goodwill towards anyone.
Goodwill fits nowhere in their cold and heartless mental world so they will compulsively maltreat everyone eventually because when there is no goodwill there is only bad faith and good outcomes are impossible with bad faith.
They think, talk, communicate and function in terms of lies but they regard it all as truth.
This is insanity and will drive you crazy if you let it.
They use people aimlessly and misuse them.
They don’t know why but can’t stop the compulsion.
Now that you know all this you know the source of their crazy making.
You know why long term amicability or peaceful co existence is an impossible deal with them.
So forget about bending over backwards to appease them.
Niceness no longer makes sense because their negative fantasies will blot out any concrete goodwill you bring to the table and replace it with their projected bad faith.
This is how they continuously maintain their professional victimhood and brand you as the perpetual aggressor which requires them to always twist everything.
They have to keep this up because as soon as their victimhood stops they will have to confront their wrongdoings which they refuse to do.
So they abuse you and then accuse you of abusing them so they can escape the awareness of their own actions.
But their victimhood just makes them want to keep up the abuse under disguise of self preservation.
That is why you are seen to be perpetually abusing them.
Thinking and functioning in terms of lies makes misunderstandings occur spontaneously and also to propagate out of control.
Using the truth to sort things out is counterproductive as they only pretend to accept the truth.
Things never stay smoothed out for long before the next misunderstanding caused by the next lie boils over again.
But most importantly you have to stop being so harsh on yourself, stop assigning blame to yourself, stop trying to see where you went wrong or how you could have fixed the situation.
You have to simply learn to accept the painful truth that nothing can work out with A Narcissist.
With A Narcissist everything inevitably lead to ruins and everyone dealing with him will eventually experiences this including even the Golden Child.
In time The Narcissist compulsively screws over everyone because he inevitably grows to despise whomever he is with.
So you focus solely on your own truth, you come in and do what you have to do, say your words, do your deeds and leave without any qualms knowing that you have done the best anyone can.
You stop imagining amicable and peaceful outcomes, you stop indulging in idealistic fantasies with positive emotional outcomes with The Narcissist.
Because you now know that those positive emotional outcomes require the truth and goodwill from both parties and The Narcissist has none.
This sounds bleak but it is the best way to deal with Narcissists because the best outcome you can obtain from dealing with them is an intact self worth.
The second best outcome is to reclaim yourself.
So stop second guessing yourself and start trusting your instincts.