Something In Us Has Changed Forever!!
Sadly I don’t believe the soul can be unviolated.
I have gone in waves.
I had a rough year then a period of feeling fine and above it all.
I learnt a lot about myself and I grew as people say but the growth felt like a nagging tumour more than a benefit.
Regardless I did enjoy a period where I thought I was fine and I thought I would never look back.
There are other Narcissists out there and after being abused by one your guards are up and I don’t think we can ever walk again feeling that innocence and purity we enjoyed Pre Narcissists.
We were violated by fake love and we will never be the same.
When you have been subjected to fake love the standard for love feels unachievable.
The bar was raised because of his love bombing but the end result was catastrophic.
It’s a violent tug at our core.
Sure we can try to reprogram and desensitise ourselves but that coping mechanism doesn’t leave us pure and whole.
The Narcissist stole a part of our identity.
He took advantage of us and wrecked emotional havoc.
But we survived.
That’s the most important part.
It is normal to reflect on our past but use it as a guide post not a hitching post.
Yes we have changed.
It’s up to us to take that change and make it for the better.
We now know what we don’t want in a relationship.
We can spot Narcissistic Behaviours in a person and we can protect ourselves by avoiding Narcissists in the future.
The pain will heal and yet the experience will change us.
One day we will know how this has changed us and we will be unstoppable.
What we do have control over is helping victims alike and raising awareness.
I find this is really the only thing that helps me feel whole again.
To do my part and to try to limit the suffering of others.